Here I am....

2012-02-09T12:10:00.002-06:00

I read this today & felt really moved by it. I'm a rebel at heart. If someone tells me to do something, or to not do something, deep down in my heart I want to do the opposite! Even for stupid insignificant things. If you tell me to do something I was already planning on doing, I feel like you don't have faith in me. If you tell me to do something I don't want to do, I want to whine & cry & get my way until I can do it - for that sense of freedom/rebellion (and this isn't my LITERAL thoughts, but the deep down seed of rebellion in my heart is thinking these things...)

Needed to read this, need to keep reflecting on it:

http://michaelkelleyministries.com/2012/02/the-electric-fence-and-the-abuse-of-the-law/

New Discovery

2011-08-11T11:09:00.003-05:00

This are kind of random, but here you go:

I was never good at braiding when I was younger. I would only ever attempt it on my Barbies - and just your regular, normal braid. French braiding was out of the question.

When we were in Latvia a couple months ago, it was a common occurrance to shower right before bed, and it was too hot to think about blow drying & I was always too tired anyway. So I had Emily french-braid my hair most nights before bed - much less scary in the morning than if I'd just gone to bed & woken up all crazy/flat/hair plastered to my head.

Last month I had just gotten busy or lazy or procrastonated showering until late in the evening (& I hate showeringin the morning), so I talked Jess into braiding my hair on a couple of occasions before bed. Well, one night, she was not home (or refused to do it for me :) ), so I haphazardly attempted my own french braid - it took forever :) It felt all wrong & messy....but when I looked in the mirror, it was straight, not too bumpy, & actually looked pretty good! I had not attempted a french braid since I was probably 8 or 10 years old.

So off & on when I shower too late or don't want to dry my hair, I've been doing the french-braid. Jess was mad because it always looked nicer than her attempts for me :) So we tested the theory about braiding someone else's hair - which I assumed would be easier. However, it wasn't! I tried to braid her hair one night, and not that it was terrible, but for whatever reason, I do a better job doing my own. Who'da thunk it?

Some recent pictures from Latvia....(out of order but that's okay!)

2011-08-03T16:23:00.003-05:00

Family lunch of cold beet soup

Nelly translating during our Kids Club activities outside the church
Mia & German

Raindrops on the cobblestone

Last night all together

Meghan, me, & Emily leveling out the sand & rock

& Carl bringing us more Emily & Nelly leading craft time

Hanging out at the Baltic Sea

Nelly translating church service for Alexander

Visiting an old castle & trying to fight jet lag our first day there

An addition.....

2011-04-28T11:11:00.001-05:00

HOW COULD I FORGET # 7:

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE RETURNS MAY 29th!!!!!!!!

2011-04-27T16:47:00.002-05:00

Gahh! It's been more than 4 months since my last post!

I'll blame it on the limited internet. I only usually have it when I'm at work.

Things I'm looking forward to in the near future:
1. Baby Girl niece is due in less than 2 weeks! Can't wait to hold & snuggle & spoil her :)
2. Bon Jovi May 12th!! Nosebleed seats but in a superb location to enjoy the music (according to one of my musically gifted co-workers, he's in a band).
3. Trip to Latvia with close friends from church to work at Nelly's home church. We'll do some construction (learn a little about plumbing :) ) and put on a VBS-type program for the students in the surrounding villages. And I'll get to meet her family - Jess stayed with them 2 years ago on a previous trip.
4. Midnight Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2. (Anxiously awaiting tickets to go on sale!)
5. My golden birthday this summer - I'm trying to think of something fun to do - either 27 Things to do on my birthday, or 27 Things to do before my birthday (one thing each day that month), or maybe just 27 Things I want to do in my Golden 27th Year :) If you have any suggestions, let me know!!
6. Midnight Breaking Dawn (this will come later this fall - Kate & Jess - let's make a date!!)

Feeling Holiday Festive

2010-12-14T10:26:00.003-06:00

So, I don't cook. I don't like to cook. I don't really know how to cook.

But I'm bored of salads, frozen pizzas, and toast.

After work I stopped by Fareway, purchased some groceries, and proceeded home to make dinner. The evening looked like this:

Menu: Baked chicken with seasoning, baked potato, and Middle Sister California Moscato wine.

Music: Glee Christmas music playing from my Ipod

Decor: Candle burning, dressy work clothes - red flowered top & gray pants.

Activities: Cut the chicken, sprinkle the seasoning, nuke the potato in the microwave before putting it in the oven with the chicken. Dance about the kitchen to Glee, cut up some cauliflower and broccoli for the rest of the week, chill the wine in the snow outside while dinner's in the oven. Eat said baked potato, chicken & break out the fancy wine glasses (Christmas gift from last year).

Dessert: Free Subway cookie that Jess brought home - Thank you!

All in all, a fun, festive, holiday dinner :)

The Last Five Months....in pictures

2010-12-07T11:26:00.059-06:00

Jess's friend Emily & Andrew's Wedding:

Co-workers:

First Pedicure: (Yes, my toes are very short, but this picture is upside down)

Summer Vacation: NYC, Philadelphia, & Jersey Shore

DAY 1: EARLY MORNING into NYC

Excited for the day.... ...5 minutes later & I'm asleep (we got up at 3:30 am!)First stop: New York City Fire Station for Jess :)

Text from Kate: "Send me a picture of something random in New York". Okay.Bicycle buggy tour through Central Park. Friends fountain
Birthday present from my family - Lion King tickets! AMAZING!! (I cried during the opening number...don't laugh at me!) LOOOONNNNGGGG train ride home :( Got on the wrong one. Stopped for 1/2 hour on tracks, had to go backwards. Trip took at least twice as long as it should. So we entertained ourselves while we waited :)
DAY 2: Philadelphia

Traffic was poopy. 10 miles an hour. Stop. Go. Stop. Go.....you get the idea. 1st Stop: The Eastern State Penitentiary Yes, we are awesome.

Jess tried to escape.
Can you see the sweat? It. Was. Hot.2nd Stop: Rocky Stairs! Well, the Museum of Art.
3rd Stop: Tour of the Olympia warship & Becuna submarine.

4th Stop: The Liberty Bell5th Stop: Philadelphia Fire Station.
The above open garage door was for the engine pulling in just as we tried to take a picture. (We were looking around the corner trying to see what was inside....oops.)
Jess being bold & making new friends :)

DAY 3: Megan & David's Wedding

(Recounting the fireman story)
Roomies
Sisters
Yummy, yummy dinner
Cake topper Married
Bride

DAY 4: Jerey Shore!

Seagulls

September - Adam Lambert Concert on the bridge

Spaghetti Works for dinnerAllison Iraheta
Adam Lambert

Ocbober - Best Bachelorette gift-giver: Me :)

Minneapolis: SYTYCD Season 7 tour

w/ a mini bar :) (We did not use this)
Jose & Dominic
Kent & AllisonBilly & Robert Group danceLauren & KentThat's all for now!

Do you know anything about dream interpretations?

2010-02-05T14:50:00.002-06:00

So, I don't believe much in dream interpretation, but it's interesting to think about especially with recurring dreams.

Mine of late has been animal attacks.

We'll be at some family/friend type gathering, just hanging out, when all of a sudden we discover a gigantic grizzly bear or some other beast (gorilla, hippo-type animal, etc.) chilling nearby. It's always come upon suddenly & the animal is usually sleeping or minding its own business. I usually run for cover and the bear's attention is caught from the attempt to shut a door or get cover. I've never actually been attacked, I get to the point where I see the animal charging full speed at me but I've shut a door and am just waiting to see if it busts through when I wake up.

According to random websites some interpretations are:

1 - Bear is significant of overwhelming competition in pursuits of every kind.
2 - If a bear is pursuing you in your dream this is a sign that you will experience some financial losses in business.
3 - A young woman who dreams of a bear will have a threatening rival or some misfortune.
4 - A bear in a dream often symbolizes a mother figure. The behavior of the bear, whether it is uncaring, possessive or devouring, can indicate how you feel towards your own mother.

SO INTERESTING!!

(And Mom, I don't know what that means for us :) )

I think it started recurring after Christmas Eve when we watched some Discovery Channel/Animal Planet show that showed some really intense & close encounters between researchers and polar bears. I've never actually dreamed about polar bears yet. I've had variations of the dream at least 3-4 times in the last month...what could this mean?? Any of the above? Who knows :)

I'm just thankful I wake up before anything really bad actually happens!!!

It's a Winter Wonderland!

2009-12-10T11:30:00.006-06:00

Jess & I were closely monitoring the first major winter storm for Boone - and the ENTIRE state of Iowa, for that matter, on Tuesday night. We were anticipating 10-15 inches of snow, 40-ish mile an hour winds the next day. So at 10:15 pm, we decided to step outside to measure the damage up to that point.

We opened the front door and saw the snow piled up on top of our garbage can.

Using the ruler method we saw on the news, our front step had about 5 inches of snow at that point.

Jess and her boots braved the measuring of our sidewalk.

It measured about 7-8 inches.Our landlord's son had come sometime earlier in the day to plow out our driveway as best he could, so it had only accumulated about 3 more inches.

The drift by our mailbox measured about 11 inches.

Our neighbor Rose (who lives downstairs) had not done any shoveling yet, so her step had about 9 inches or so.

My car didn't get much more covered than what you see here - the drifts accumulated with about 1-2 feet away from my car, so it wasn't too hard to shovel her out in the morning. The right side you see here had about 1-2 feet just piled against the side of the car, but the top wasn't too bad.

Jess & I outside braving one of the worst storms in 20 years (according to the NOAA).

Heading back into the house.

Picture update

2009-12-07T08:49:00.007-06:00

So, once again, it's time for a photo update. I haven't been very good about keeping up w/ my blog. So here goes:

Nelly & Deniss came in August & started joining our weekly poker nights until Deniss headed back to Latvia. They tried to teach us some Latvian & Russian, but we (I) did not do so well! Jess's NY roommate Megan was also visiting for the weekend.I finally won Der Meister (sometime in September)! After about 4-5 months of weekly poker nights, I came out a winner. Twice, in a row. Haven't won again since then! Nelly's 19th birthday was in September & we had a party at the river - roasted hot dogs, made smores, & had some homemade cake from Nelly. A rousing game of movie charades ensued.
Nick, Katie, Lindsay, Meghan, Jess, Nelly, & Deniss.September also brought the Pufferbilly Days parade - I haven't gone since high school. It was a fun day with family. Kelli & Marcus brought Miya & Isaiah and they were really fun to watch.Isaiah had fun & took off a little down the street to check out the marching band. He kept us all on our toes!For Mom's birthday in September, we took her to see Wicked in Des Moines. We made an evening of it & went to dinner at Centro before the show.We also entertained ourselves with Mom's camera while we waited for the doors to open.

And this one is totally random - but I got a high score on my electronic Yahtzee - notice I had a total of 4 Yahtzee's!! (My previous high score was 535!)For Halloween I made my own costume this year. I like to call it "Shark Attack". I found an actual costume online, but it was $50 so I made my own out of a sleeping bag, some cardboard, styrofoam & paint.The rest of the Halloween party crew (minus Cloudy w/ a chance of rain, a cowgirl & Facebook -Trisha, Emily & Janelle)

Back row: Harry Carey, Sarah & Todd Palin, a cowboy, zombies, & static cling (Sean, Katie, Richard, Tim, John, Brooke & Meghan)

Front row: a pair of blue jeans, shark attack, Rocky, & Troy Polamalu (Nick, Katie, Lindsay, Baldus, & Chiggins)Jess & I took a 2 day trip to Omaha in November to see the Season 5 SYTYCD tour. It was A-MAZING!! (Sadly, no pictures) but we spent the day at the Omaha Zoo before the show. This little guy was too cute. The woman had fur around her shoulders like the skin of a momma gorilla. We watched her change his diaper & feed him. And the best part of the zoo.....they had elephants! We tried to see them a couple years ago, but it was March & they weren't there. It made my day. (Then the tour made my night!!)We were literally standing about 5 feet back from this little embankment & we were straight in front of the elephant as he started walking right toward us. I began to hyperventilate a little & quickly moved away from him. The picture wasn't taken in time, but he extended his trunk to grab some leaves next to that bush. I had no idea how close he could really get to us, but I didn't want to stay there to find out!!I love elephants!!

Birthday weekend

2009-08-04T14:07:00.023-05:00

Last week I turned the big 25. We celebrated in style. Sort of.

SUNDAY JULY 26: Family, Spaghetti Works & Shawn Johnson

The snacks at the Burriers - cheese & crackers, champagne, & cupcakes.

The opening of the champagne: The siblings:The parents:The candles:The blowing-out of the candles: The typical ugly-face sister picture:The normal-face sister picture: The dinner at Spaghetti Works:The eager anticipation of Shawn Johnson & Friends:The "Friends" first - The UI Spirit Squad & cheerleaders:The one with Herky:The one with Ballas/Hough Band:The one with Mark's solo - AMAZING GUITAR SKILLS!!!:The one with the Michael Jackson tribute - Corky Ballas, Mark & Derek:The one with the signature move - Gilles & Cheryl:The one with the Argentine Tango - Gilles & Cheryl:

The one with Derek & Chelsie: The one with Steve-O & Lacey:The one with my favorite move (sorry the flash blurred but it's the only shot I have & I LOVED this dance!! I'd try to imitate it & Jess would make fun of me) from Shawn & Mark's Cha-Cha:The one with Shawn & Mark's Argentine Tango:The one with the song from Aladdin: The one for the Finale - the freestyle from the real finale:

The one with the final bow - Lacey, Chelsie, Corky, Shirley Ballas, Shawn, Derek, Cheryl, Gilles, Steve-O, Kristyi Yamaguchi, Mitchel Musso, & Mark:

MONDAY JULY 27 - BIRTHDAY: Poker night

The coveted Der Meister, which I have yet to win:I keep inviting Joshua, but Money Mike keeps crashing the party.Money Mike & Dollar Delores - notice the knee high Halloween socks, my favorite personal touch.Dollar Delores, Money Mike, & Currency Clem.....man, if we don't stop being so cool, people are going to get jealous.

The boys lighting the 25 candles in my tiny little cupcake - they started lighting from the outside. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Should have asked a woman first & you wouldn't have gotten burned :)

Blowing out the candles:I put this up because Sean looks scared...Time for some actual poker.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Thank you to everyone who helped celebrate! (All the way through Thursday night dinner at the Gigglin' Goat!)

When your dreams become reality

2009-07-28T15:11:00.004-05:00

**Warning: This post is gross. And embarrassing (for me). But I feel the need to share.**

***You have been warned.***

It's extremely hard to explain dreams.

Because normally your dream world is a combo of reality w/ other random pieces that don't belong.

Well, last night my dreamworld entered my real world.

I have been having this reoccurring dream the last couple of weeks where I get this nasty taste in my mouth and there's these stringy pieces with little chunks, like small seeds that I (excuse the nastiness) sort of hack up & spit out. My mouth fills up w/ saliva and these things & it's like I can't clear my mouth or throat. I spit, my mouth fills up again. I spit, there's more. Etc.

So I keep finding an empty trash can or some bathroom to spit the crap out (again, in the dream). Excuse my language.

The "string" pieces reminds me of when you get the stuff from sweet corn stuck in your teeth. In the dream, I pull them out but they're also attached across the roof of my mouth so it peels out really long (think like peeling a sunburn, it just keeps peeling & peeling....) and again, in "dream world" I kind of gag it up & spit it out.

**Sorry for the nasty details, I understand if you stop reading now or couldn't even make it through the last paragraph. Brace yourself, it's not over. I know you're so curious that even though you can't imagine why I'm telling you this - you're going to read to the end to see where the heck this is going.**

So anyway, I'm having a repeat of this dream last night. In these dreams I'm usually in a place like a high school where I keep ducking into bathroom stalls or locker rooms to hang over a garbage can or toilet. Sometimes I'm in a concert hall/auditorium type place where I'm supposed to be with a group of people but have to stay behind due to my.......issue.

In the dream I can't seem to get rid of the junk in my mouth, I keep hacking/spitting into the garbage, it does no good, there's still more there.

Then all of a sudden, last night while laying in bed having this dream, I feel spit/drool actually slide down my cheek.

I wasn't just doing this in my dream. I was doing this in real life.

Yep that's right. I was literally gagging & trying to clear out my mouth in my bed. As I am a back sleeper, there was no where else for it to go....

.....except down my cheek & neck.

**Sorry! I WARNED YOU!!!**

(This is sort of the climax of the story.....hope you weren't expecting more.)

Needless to say, at this point I woke up.

I went to the bathroom to clean myself off & change my t-shirt.

Then I realize that the nasty taste in my 'dream mouth' was a real taste I was having in actuality. It wasn't just a "dream" taste, it was a real life taste in my throat/mouth. Standing in the bathroom at 3:30 in the morning I tried not to gag again.

I've deduced from my long analysis of this dream (and the fact it's a repeated dream over the last several weeks) that the causal factor must be the toothpaste I use before bed. Yep, that's right. The instigator is toothpaste.

My sister can attest that I complain about toothpaste leaving a film in my mouth afterwards. It really dries out my mouth/throat & leaves a nasty taste all night. I intentionally try to rinse extremely thoroughly after each brush. I thought toothpaste was supposed to refresh you....not for me apparently.

Maybe I'm just going to have to get a new kind. Guess, test, & revise my theory.

Not going to lie, my throat is getting a little choked up as I write & remember....my gag reflex is starting to kick in.

So I'm going to end this now.

**Props to you if you made it to the end of this post!!**

2009-07-28T11:47:00.002-05:00

Hmm, something interesting to ponder.

Ten Reasons To NOT Ask Jesus Into Your Heart

Time for an update

2009-06-16T21:08:00.009-05:00

I saw Brooke on Sunday and she pointed out that I haven't updated my blog since they wouldn't let me jump out of the plane.

And they ended up letting me jump out of the plane.

So here are some details:

It was all for Emily.

And her big 2-1.

I expected the plane to look something like this: Notice the open back end, the bench to sit on...

But this is the plane we jumped out of:

When I walked up to the hanger the first day, I definitely said either out loud or at least to myself in my head, "Ha ha ha. There's no way that could be our plane. It looks kind of tattered & rusty."

But lo and behold, this was our vessel.

2 jumpers plus the 2 tandem instructors crowded into this small space for the flight over Boone to our altitude of upwards 8000 feet.

Richard & Emily went first:We brought quite a crowd of spectators - and family. It took about 20 minutes for them to reach altitude......but we didn't know it was going to take so long - lots of sore necks from searching the sky.

Richard:Emily:

Round 2 - Joel & I

Don't we look like we're on a mission? (Me, Joel, Hashem, & Mark - our instructors/tandem partners)

Lindsay (me):

All I wanted to accomplish was to do flips in the air while free falling. After a beautiful plane ride over Boone (and I'm not kidding - I loved flying over my hometown!) Joel & Hashem jumped first. Then I had to step outside the plane, hanging on to the bar. Then I tucked my thumbs in the harness & we fell backward into the air. I think we did 1 1/2 flips or so - goal reached!

Here is the dialogue from the remaining portion of my skydiving experience:

Parachute is pulled. Tight pain across my chest & shoulders. Wishing I had a little more wiggle room/freedom. Getting uncomfortable.

A few seconds later -

Mark: How are we doing, Lindsay?

Lindsay: I think I may be hyperventilating a little.
Mark: We'll be on the ground in a few minutes, hang in there.

I'm starting to feel clammy in my arms and rest of my body, feeling a little sweaty & nauseous. Taking deep breaths. Close eyes for a few intermittent moments. Open them to try & enjoy the view.

A little later -

Mark: How're we doing?
Lindsay: I'm feeling nauseous.

Mark: We'll be on the ground in a 3-4 minutes.

He pulls the chute handles, we start spinning in a fast circle. This is supposed to be exhilarating. I want to puke. Close my eyes & hope it stops sooner rather than later.

I hear Mark tell me to lift my knees up. A fraction of a second later I feel tapping against my leg - the signal to pick up my knees for the landing. No time to react, I'm on the ground on my knees.

I had been seeing white, fading spots. Didn't even know we were near the ground. End my skydiving experience.

Wait a few minutes crouched on my hands & knees, my vision returns, the clammy feeling fades away.

"Would you do it again?" I'm asked.

"No." I say....

Now with some perspective & distance from it - I may have a different response. I think I missed out on a good portion of the experience - the view of nearing the ground before you land, that feeling/rush as the ground gets ever closer - I'm pretty sure I was on the verge of passing out and missed that part of the experience. So would I do it again? Maybe someday....

Emily went again 3 days later.

She loved it :)

Happy 21st birthday Emily!!

I'm trying to jump but they won't let me!!

2009-05-20T14:42:00.003-05:00

We were supposed to go skydiving at the Boone airport for Emily's birthday on Saturday but the weather did not allow for it. It was extremely cold & the winds were about 20 mph, gusting at 30 mph. They said for us it should stay below 20 mph.

Postponed to last night.

Again, the weather wouldn't allow for it. Too windy.

:(

So we'll try again this coming Saturday.

My sister said it might rain.

Eventually they'll have to let me jump out of a plane.

I've already paid for it & signed my life away (the waivers/authorization/letter that I [actually my family] won't sue if I die, etc.).

And each time I've been to the airport we got to watch video of other jumpers & it made me even more excited & less nervous to make the jump.

Someday.....

This one's for Jess

2009-05-20T14:26:00.006-05:00

Hope you're not mad I'm posting this, but I spent my lunch today cleaning out my email inbox & came across the email from December 2007, in which you sent me the following message:

Body of email:

I thought you would like to see what happens when you ask to borrow lotion from a classmate!!!!

Hilarious!!

2009-05-07T11:18:00.002-05:00

A quote from Brennan Manning... "The seldom-stated truth is that many of us have a longing for God and an aversion to God. Some of us seek Him and flee Him at the same time."

Oddly, this sums up my heart, my longing, my lonliness, my choices, my fears, my pain, my sin, my joy, my growth, and many other things probably for the season of my life from about 2005-2008 for me....and it may still linger.

I'm off in 6 minutes!

2009-04-23T10:54:00.002-05:00

I got picked (from a randomizer) for VTO today! I leave at 11 - going shopping for some workout clothes, going for a run - and if the sun comes out, I'm going to soak up some rays & take a nap in my backyard!! Woo!

My life in pictures

2009-04-22T10:35:00.010-05:00

Since work is slightly slower today, I figured I'd update my blog w/ some pictures of events & activities over the last few months. Enjoy!

Katie, Richard & I are in charge of games for youth group - these are from our "Duct Tape" night:

The Cocoon The Pseudo-Statue of Liberty - she does have a tape-moustache...not quite sure about that one.

The Tandem-Tape - 2 people held up at the same time. It was impressive.

Man Running Through Pole. Loved it.

This is our youth leader. Hanging upside down from the rafter. By Duct Tape. Safe. Not.

Over Spring Break we had a Senior High Lock-in, which included a movie, Perkins, and bowling *There were other activities but I wasn't able to stay the whole night so I don't know what they were!

Some of our bible study girls:

Love. It.

The reason I left the Lock-In early was to go on vacation to....Las Vegas! I met my parents there for a couple of days. My dad went for a bowling tournament.

We stayed in the Excalibur.

Went hiking in Red Rock Canyon.

Went to Cirque Du Soleil.

And had yummy drinks by the pool in the March sunshine.

And my dad really did go for a bowling tournament. Here's the proof :)

Later in March our College/Young Adult's group had a Mystery Dinner & it was a blast.
My favorite in-character costume: TexOur cook & the host.

Hope you enjoyed!

I talk more than I do.

2009-04-21T15:28:00.005-05:00

I'd like to believe I'm a pretty adventurous, spontaneous person.

But the truth is I am not.

I panic when I see or hear about spiders.

I get anxious and nervous sitting in the seats at amusement park rides when I consider the speed and heights I'll have to endure.

I imagine random road trips with friends and the adventures that would ensue - but I've only done it once (KC w/ Mike & David - but I left a note for my parents first so they wouldn't worry & I hopefully wouldn't get in trouble. Which I did.)

I prefer "planned" spontaneity - but can that even really exist?

For Emily's birthday in May, she wants me (& others) to go skydiving with her!

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

I SO want to do this. The minute I clicked on the website my heart began to pitter-patter rather quickly, I got really hot (is it normal to get hot flashes when you're scared/anxious/nervous/excited?), and I think I had a minor panic attack :)

But it also seems really thrilling - a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

And it's Emily's 21st birthday! How exciting.

Do you think it's crazy to hurl yourself out of a plane with someone strapped to your back and trusting some nylon (?) to bring you safely to the ground?

I need some advice - should I do it?

Would you do it?

Have you done it?

I want to hear from you - let me know your thoughts on this by posting to the comments.

Thanks in advance for your help in making a (somewhat) informed decision.
*Photo courtesy of the skydiving website - link listed above.

Watch this

2009-04-18T10:14:00.004-05:00

This is probably one of the best auditions I have seen on these talent shows.

I must say I'm guilty of judging by appearances. I got chills, goosebumps, and I won't lie, tears.

Two worlds collide

2009-04-15T08:55:00.001-05:00

I read MckMama's blog, and I watch Dancing with the Stars. Awesome.

Tears

2009-04-08T10:09:00.005-05:00

I've been following Stellan's story on MckMama's blog & checking out his name gallery - this one brought tears to my eyes:

2009-04-02T13:26:00.000-05:00

Indie night

2009-03-21T12:03:00.003-05:00

I highly, highly recommend watching Rachel Getting Married. This is probably one of the best movies I have seen for a while.

And I also watched The Boy in the Striped Pajamas last night while doing laundry.

I had never read the book nor knew what this film was about, and needless to say, I should have guessed the ending, but definitely did not...

Oh yeah...

2009-03-10T16:15:00.001-05:00

...I leave for Vegas in 4 days :)

UPDATE

2009-03-10T16:04:00.002-05:00

I am back at work this week - missed all 5 days last week due to a severe sinuns infection. I'm on antibiotics & cough medicine at night.

And I'm now onto reading Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire.

I bought HP 5, 6 & 7 yesterday so I can read the whole series straight through! I'm thinking I need a new bookshelf - with a whole shelf devoted just to my hardcover Harry Potter series :)

Netflix Wannabe

2009-03-10T15:27:00.003-05:00

I read about all these really awesome documentaries or independent films. I have a saved draft in my cell phone of all the ones I want to see someday - Everything is Illuminated, Lake of Fire, Born into Brothels, Boys of Baraka, Saints & Soldiers, Man on Wire, In Chad, American Teen, La Misma Luna, 22 Weeks. S0me of these I don't even remember what they are about (disclaimer: some of these titles may be songs, books, or movies....)! I just put them into my phone so I would remember to check them out someday (& it's a good thing I did! I only remember about 3 of them!) I usually find an online review or a fellow blogger who has watched & recommended them.

I recently watched Bella & The Visitor and really enjoyed both of them - there is something in a beautiful, simple, heartfelt story. I was moved by The Visitor - it makes me want to embrace & experience more culture; I wish I had rhythm to learn the djembe :)

And I came across this post after a fellow blogger watched Boys of Baraka. Makes me want to watch it and gives such great truths/ideas to be intentionally aware of, for those of us who want to be married & raise a family someday.

And it made me realize I should seriously consider getting NetFlix. Where else am I going to rent these great movies?? Any thoughts? Is it worth the investment of $5.00/month? I'm one of those people who have to be "in a mood" to watch one of these kinds of films - I had Bella for at least 6 weeks before I actually watched it...

New insight of the day

2009-03-04T13:09:00.003-06:00

I actually said this to my dad this afternoon:

"My head looks smaller when my hair is on the top of it."

I've had my hair pulled up in a high bun the last 3 days - it allowed me to lay in the bathtub without getting it wet. I could lay on my back & my side on the couch/in bed all day without having to re-do it.

And I guess for whatever reason, I think it makes my head look smaller :)

Is this an echo??

2009-03-02T13:46:00.002-06:00

I am home sick today. I felt it coming on Friday....the chest cold. It's settled in my ears, nose & throat, and I'm having a hard time breathing.

It's almost exactly the same symptoms I had about one year ago - it feels like my airway is shrinking (last year it got to the point I felt my airway was as narrow or narrower than a straw). So far, it's not quite that drastic, but I'm spending today resting, taking a really hot bath, catching up on shows I missed last week at my parents' house (where they have internet) and reading Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets. I'm heading home soon for a nap and some grilled cheese sandwich(es-if I feel up to it!). It's no fun being sick, except I get to spend all day in my pajamas & not feel guilty about it.

It's Ryan the Temp!

2009-02-12T12:47:00.004-06:00

Check out this movie trailer.

It's a little different role than we're used to seeing our little Ryan Howard in. Kind of crazy if you ask me - but that's Tarantino.

15 Random Things

2009-02-11T13:33:00.002-06:00

The 25 Random Things phenomenon has been passed around Facebook, and I admit, I even participated myself. I find these kinds of things interesting, entertaining, and a good way to pass the afternoon when it's a little slower at work.

Ever since then, I've thought about resubmitting my entries, but figured it would be interesting to do a 15 Things I Think About or Question Throughout the Day, But Wouldn't Admit Out Loud (Until Now!)-type post. So that's what I'm going to do now for you to enjoy :)

1. Is it weird that I took the stairs after lunch today because I saw 3 men in suits waiting for the elevator & didn't want to be the only woman to ride up one floor with them? (I had food/drink in both hands, the elevator would have been way easier, but I didn't spill anything!) And it may have something to do with the fact I was wearing brown pants and my favorite black fleece jacket & didn't want the stares from the real professionals.

2. In the bathroom at work, they will put the half used rolls on top of the toilet paper dispenser so they can be refilled. I realized I always use the rolls on top if they're there. One day I wanted to defy my natural tendency so I physically forced myself to use the roll inside the dispenser - but couldn't handle it & ended up tearing the 2nd piece from the rolls on top :)

3. Driving down Story Street yesterday on the way to work, I thought I saw a cat crossing the road, but I soon realized it was actually a possum! Then I spent the next few minutes on my drive questioning if it was 'possum' or 'opossum' and if both were actually real words. Then I started to think/say in my head 'possum' and wondered if that was even the right word because it started to sound like gibberish the more I thought about it. (I still haven't googled it to see which is correct!)

4. Almost every morning, right as I realize my alarm is going off, I have a split second where I stop & question, "Wait, do I feel sick? Do I feel bad enough to call in sick for work & go back to sleep? Nope, not today." Then I hit snooze & go back to bed for a few minutes before getting up for the day.

5. Do my callers get as annoyed as I do about the number of times I say verify, administrator/tion, confirm/ing, or today/this morning/this afternoon during our calls?

6. I often remember people & friends who were pivotal during certain seasons of my life but I have lost touch with. They are still very near in my thoughts & if I saw them again, I would probably still feel as close to them as I did when we were last together - and then I wonder if they ever think of me the same way. I often fear people mean more to me than I do to them :( There is a season for all things (including relationships/friendships)!

7. I usually don't swear. Unless I get really scared (spider/bug moments) or really frustrated (9th grade golf team & pitching [badly] in softball). But lately, I find myself swearing while working out.....to a video with Jillian from the Biggest Loser. She's killer.

8. I don't know what the real definition would be of a "social drinker" but I had a little insight during our work bowling party this last weekend. I usually don't choose alcoholic drinks unless it's a special occasion or given to me for free (it's expensive!). I found that after one Sex On the Beach, I was more relaxed around my coworkers, I bowled a better game, and I really enjoyed my night. Now, that's not to say the same things wouldn't have happened without it, but it was simply an interesting observation.

9. I find more and more random things alike with my friend Kate from work. Our sense of humor is very similar, we're extremely competitive, we like Homestarrunner & quote "Lures & Jigs" all the time, and we recently discovered we'd both picked out the same name for our future daughters - I would tell you, but she made me take it off so you won't be tempted to steal it.

10. I got a $1.00 snow globe in a gift bag from my coordinator at work & it's probably one of my favorite gifts. I'm not sure why, but it will be on my desk for most likely the whole year - and Kate even coined the sarcastic phrase "Go shake a snow globe" when she's trying to be mean to me. (But then I do it & the comment loses its meanness when taken literally :) )

11. I get made fun of by coworkers (mostly Stacy) when they catch me watching The Biggest Loser online over lunch while eating chocolate & fried food from the cafeteria.

12. Sometimes I wonder when my hair will turn gray. It has already started. I once had a stranger cut my hair & she called me out on it....then she laughed. I thought it was rather rude. My aunt, who I prefer to cut my hair, was a little more compassionate, but didn't lie - she found several stray gray/silver hairs the last time she highlighted it. I noticed a bunch today as I glanced in the mirror while washing my hands.

13. Have you ever wondered who is a thinker of an original thought? Or are all the things we think about simply recycled from someone who has already thought the same thought?

14. I am not sure if I am losing all knowledge of the English language or am possibly getting smarter....but I find that when I try to write or explain something, I use several words trying to get the same idea across (For example: in this paragraph - I used both write and explain; #12 - gray/silver; etc.) I try to encompass every possibility & variation with my explanations.....see, I just did it again!!

15. I take notes during my calls - every now & then as I'm writing a certificate or other number down, I'll pause & think, "Man, that's really nice handwriting...why don't I write like this all the time?" My handwriting changes with my moods, my attention span, & my stress level.

**Disclaimer** I'm giving up after 15 things because it's the end of the day and it's hard to remember the random things I think about, since let's face it, they're random. I should have been keeping better track of them as they came up :) Thanks for reading!

Who are you on LOST?

2009-02-05T13:58:00.000-06:00

You Are Hurley

To the outside observer, you're a happy-go-lucky, fun person.

And it's true that you know how to have a good time.

You can make the best of a bad situation. You love making other people smile.

You're also quite level headed. You're often the voice of reason during chaotic times.

However, there's a lot more inner turmoil going on than most people realize.

You sometimes wonder if you're going crazy, and you even wonder if you're cursed.

Who Are You on LOST?

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

2009-02-05T13:54:00.002-06:00

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times.

You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained

You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun.

How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Wednesday....

2009-02-04T11:45:00.002-06:00

I'm not sure if I should brag on this fact or hide it, but here goes.....

It's Wednesday, not quite noon, and I've already watched an episode of The City & 3 episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8 online today....

I'm thankful for our slow days, but sometimes I wish it could just be better spread out & distributed throughout the week!

No posts

2009-01-26T14:39:00.001-06:00

I love reading my friends' posts, but usually don't have much to say. So sorry for those of you who do keep up w/ my blog - I'll try to be more consistent.

The newest news:

I have a week of vacation I have to use by April 1st or I lose it. And who wants to take time off work with nothing else to do?

So......I'm going to Las Vegas.

That's right.

March 14-18th.

Kind of by myself....

.....but my parents will be there too :)

Yep. I'm going to Vegas with Mom & Dad :) I'll get there late Saturday night - crash in their room for one night, then move into my own room for the next 3 days.

So if anyone's in need of a vacation - I'll be in Vegas. You can come stay with me :)

And for those of you good at math :) you'll notice I'm coming home Wednesday.

Hoping for a road trip to Chicago.

With my college roommates.

To see my other college roommates :)

Miss you girls, hope to see you in March!

.....need to start making some more plans so this actually happens.

2009-01-07T13:15:00.003-06:00

So, this seems to be the day for stealing blog ideas from my sister, but I like these kinds of things - they give me ideas of things I'd like to try or see....I've bolded the things I've done & made comments on some of the ones I haven't :) I've completed 31% of the list below....not bad (some I don't want to do!-be fired from a job, get food poisoning!)

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars - 1st real camping - Rocky Mountains, no tents :)
3. Played in a band (does orchestra count?)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower - summer - laying in the road at the Darby's
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (how about to one person in need)
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain - I've definitely hiked/climbed, but never to a peak (14ers in CO, should have taken advantage of summer 2003 and conquered one!)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - went garage-saleing when I was moving :)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse - I always seemed to miss it when it would occur.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance - my freshman year of college
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (in Cozumel, Mexico)
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class - Jiu Jitsu at UNI
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen - Rosebud & Iowa City
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - I tried to once, but they wouldn't take it - high heart rate from rushing back after my lunch period!
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - August 2008
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt - someday!!
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - not in London, but at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington. Not the same thing, but probably just as awesome.
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - maybe not speeding, but it was without a helmet so it felt just as rebellious - I'm counting it!
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper - Summer 93 w/ Sarah T & 6th grade for poem published in Highlights magazine.
85. Read the entire Bible - starting my 3rd time 1/1/09
86. Visited the White House - I stood outside of it but I couldn't get in :)
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one (Great Grandmas when I was little, Grandpa this year)
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee - I made one mad in Erin's backyard - it stung my eyelid.

Where I've Been....& where I want to go.

2009-01-07T11:55:00.002-06:00

I found this from my sister's blog and just thought it'd be an easy way to jump back into my blogging - it's been a while. Below are maps of the states and the countries I've visited.
visited 17 states (34%)

visited 4 states (1.77%)
Create your own visited map of The World or try another Douwe Osinga project

I love to travel. I love to fly - I know airports are a hassle, but I love them. I think I've complained that I never get a chance to do it - but as I've been reflecting on the last couple of years, I've gotten to do quite a bit!

August 2007 - San Diego to visit Katie

November 2007 - New York/Niagara Falls & Canada with Jess

March 2008 - Colorado with Andrea & Julianna

August 2008 - Washington D.C. to visit Christie

November 2008 - Chicago with my friends from church

I'm itching for some more. I've thrown around Nashville. I'd love to go to Las Vegas - I went there in 8th grade, but I'd love to go again. Somewhere northwest like Oregon or Seattle. I think the next destination will be a roommate reunion w/ Katie, AO, & hopefully Kelly in Chicagoland!!

On a completely unrelated note, I've decided to give up pop for 2009. Yep, me, who was having it every day - my Mountain Dew & Code Red craving has actually not been that bad....until today. But so far, I've been given the strength not to give in (plus it helps I don't have cash for the vending machines!) I'm not one to be big on New Year's resolutions, but I needed a deadline - or a starting point I guess is a better term. So around December 27th, I planned to give it up. I'd been sick for several days and worked my way through a bunch of 7UP and a gifted 2 liter of Code Red in only a couple of days. It's just something I don't need anymore. I need the change for my health. So as of January 1st, I am no longer drinking pop. I'm not going to cry a tear if come April I change my mind. But I'm shooting for the whole year - and I'm going to do the read-through-the-bible-in-year again, so I thought these could go hand in hand. Wish me luck!

2008-12-10T13:21:00.003-06:00

***I posted this, then I removed it. Now I'm going to put it back up. I wasn't sure if I wanted to share these thoughts with the whole blogger world, but here you go.***

"What if marriage were meant to make us holy instead of happy?"
-tag line from Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

Good thought to ponder (found toward the end of this blog entry). I think I'm like any other girl in the world, I wonder about the relationship/person that will one day (hopefully) become my husband. I've had so many friends date, get engaged, get married (now starting to have babies :) ). I've run the roller coaster of emotions that most girls in college in their early 20's probably face - hope, desire, jealousy, fear, trust, frustration, impatience, hope.

My perception of marriage has evolved in the last decade. In high school, I definitely had the fairy-tale image - Prince Charming, sweeping me off my feet, walking barefoot in the hills of the mountains with my princess crown and flowing gown....okay, not seriously, but it was definitely floating-on-the-clouds mentality. Broken hearts, broken relationships, seeing other relationships grow - these taught me a lot about the concept of marriage. As did the Bible :) Marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ's relationship to the Church. And it takes work. A lot of work.

I had one relationship in college that I honestly thought would end up in marriage. Actually, I think I tried to drag it in that direction :) - [or maybe that should be a :( ???] I watched family, roommates, & friends date, get engaged, get married. I think this is when I started to feel jealous - left out, forgotten. Something. I started to think, "Lord, when is it going to be my turn?" I was starting my senior year of college, getting ready to graduate, and honestly, I think I was afraid to leave college 'single'. I don't mean to say this in any negative way towards my amazing friends - but a lot of them were leaving college married. I got scared. I began to have this bipolar relationship with God. I knew that he was in control, nothing happens outside of his timing. But I also didn't trust him/that, didn't trust the things I knew & believed. I questioned Him, I questioned the relationship he'd given me with M*. I think God wanted me to use that relationship to learn from, which I did - but I was unwilling to let go of what I thought I wanted from it, where I wanted it to end up. I struggled with sin - pride, jealousy, purity, expecting M* to sort of take the place of God in several aspects. I crippled M* with the things God was wanting me to come to Him with.

Love is an interesting thing. I honestly don't think I get it. Because God is love. But what does that mean? How do you know if/when you "love" someone? I thought I loved M*, and I think I did. I cared for him, for his heart, for the direction of his life. But what happens when love becomes selfish? It's dangerous, harmful, no longer "love". How do you "love" someone, let them go from your life, and learn to love again? Aaah.

But the thing is. I want to. God will allow me to. He will teach me how, teach me when, teach me who. He is molding and shaping my heart and without M* I wouldn't have learned certain conflict resolution skills, I wouldn't know that love is a choice and not always a feeling. I wouldn't understand grace and forgiveness as I do now (and am still learning!). I wouldn't be who I am now - the good and the bad :) Granted there's baggage, there's still pieces of brokenness God is mending, but there is hope. There is forgiveness. There is love.

Kate's Quotes of the Day (so far, and it's only 10:55 am)

2008-12-10T10:55:00.002-06:00

***Updated - New Kate quotes:

"When I get sassy I use pet names, dear."

"ooooooh go shake a snowglobe."

"I don't doubt your basic math skills.
I doubt your ability to tell time.
or maybe I'm wrong...
just how many minutes are between 4:51 and 5:00 again??
seven or so right??
my snowman has other skills.
and would make your snowman cry in face to face combat.
hows that lasor pointer treating ya???
shot yourself in the eye lately?
just wondering...."

***End of update***

"I was craving McDonald's french fries and a vanilla shake last night. I wanted them more than I wanted air."

"I didn't get my vanilla shake and fries because my house was on fire."

"Do you know what it's like to live in my brain? It's extremely stressful."

Here are my random facts o' the day....

2008-12-08T16:21:00.003-06:00

1. As I drove to work this morning, I slowed down for a rabbit/bunny crossing the street, when all of a sudden it stops its forward motion and literally begins chasing its tail....in a circle....like a dog. I thought it was going crazy. It may have been. Crazy Rabbit....literally :)

2. I should not be allowed to bake stuff. Seriously. Of my recent attempts (Snickerdoodles-uber failure, but still had a decent taste, not sure how; and Sugar cookies) I have never felt more frustration in the kitchen. I remember joys of baking with Mom as a child. Not so much fun as the adult. But I'm confident the cookies will taste lovely, they were just not a treat to whip up.

3. I got to leave work 2 hours early today! Woo-woo for VTO. Got the cookies done, going to work out, maybe watch Munich since it's due at the library on Wednesday, and get some sleep early since the snow's a-coming. Pray for my drive to work tomorrow!!

4. I feel like a teenager lately. Weird. Maybe it's because I've been spending more time with them this semester! But I love it, I love the girls (and guys) I've been getting to know at youth group. I love the leaders I work with. I love the adults who are teaching me and challenging me. I love this "semester", if you will (as I'm not really in school anymore - but it's a good way to measure time).

5. And last but not least. Looking forward to some great events - Christmas holidays with my family & friends (carolling, gifts, Christmas Eve service, chili, treats, laughter, tears), Impact in January, hopefully Nashville in March, possibly South Dakota in July. Throw in an Office party, some game nights, youth group events, and a few road trips. Should make for a fun start to 2009.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T23:47:00.005-06:00

I just finished watching End of the Spear, and am finding myself in tears.

This has been an emotional roller coaster of a Thanksgiving. This morning I read a post on Angie Smith's blog, which has actually since been removed, but I completed her original challenge to write down one thing that I am thankful for-but something that I don't necessarily feel thankful for. I completed this challenge in my journal and for the first time in 2 years, felt that I could completely and honestly speak to God the real feelings I was feeling. I've masked my heart, barricaded it inside walls I thought was protecting me from the hurts and brokenness I felt through that breakup and loss. It was a freeing moment, a realization that God has truly knit me from before time, has laid out my days before me, has given me purpose and direction. He will use that experience and period in my life for His glory and probably in ways I cannot even fathom at this moment. Again, I am brought to tears as I think about the way God has directed my steps since I came to know Him in 1997. There have been many experiences along the way, but my senior year in college stands out the most - it was when I was seeking God, finding Him, but for some reason I simply did not believe I could trust Him with my life. So I rebelled. I blatantly stood in God's presence - was given the choice of obedience or sin. And I chose sin. On several specific occasions. I thought I could guide my life on my own, in the direction I wanted to take it. Like the prodigal son, God let me go off on my own. But when all that I was seeking and putting my heart and time into was lost, God was there calling me home. But even though I tried to return, I was still trying to hide my shame and rebellion, so I didn't fully return to God. I feel like the events of the last few weeks have been a turning point - a shedding of past shame, guilt, fear to reveal that I have a heart created by God to love and serve Him. He has given me gifts, talents, passions, desires that I should not be afraid of. I know God is calling me to rediscover who I am - who He has created me to be. And I know that my past experiences, choices, & hurts will be redeemed to bring God glory. They are a part of my past - a part of how God has been at work in my life. And I pray He will use them in ways I can't even imagine.

And I really miss my Grandpa this Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for my family - that most of us could spend it together (except my cousin in Florida). This is our first Thanksgiving without my grandpa and it was hard. His absence was felt, once I looked up & saw the back of Dave's head and for a fleeting instant, thought it was Grandpa. But in the midst of his absence, there were tears, laughter, games played, new friendship with Kelli & Marcus's friend Siva (from Malaysia who joined our family Thanksgiving), and great conversations.

That brings me to my cousin Kalen, who for some reason I have just lost connection with. I was thinking about her today, how she and I used to be pen pals when she was in South Carolina as we were growing up. She visited in 6th grade and we had some stupid argument and it seems that since then there has just been this unspoken rift between us. It's like we just never addressed what happened and ever since, we just drifted apart. I am praying for God to crumble my stupid pride or fear and open an opportunity to mend that relationship. I have spent too much time being afraid of what people think and I want God to move in this brokenness I feel over this strained relationship. God, give me faith and humility to confess my wrongs, my pride for not addressing it sooner, and forgiveness for a decade of silence.

And then that brings me to this movie. I remember when M & I were struggling in our relationship, his bible study leader took him to see this movie, and afterward he recommended I see it sometime. I was upset he went because we had talked about seeing it together and he went w/out me. But it's always weird (Not really :) ) when God lets things happen in his own time - that He chose tonight for me to watch it. I was broken by the fact that this young boy, whose father was killed at the hand of a Waorani warrior was able to forgive that man, and eventually move to live with him. His own children see this former warrior like their own grandfather - the man who killed their actual grandfather. The crazy thing is that it's the story of the group of missionary men killed including Jim Elliot. In my 2004 cultural anthropology class, we actually read an ethnography on this people group. A people group known for their cycle of avenge-killing. It was the wives and children of the murdered missionaries who made the first successful contact with this people group. The wives of the murdered missionaries. I can't imagine losing a husband and then going to live and share Christ to his murderer. But God calls us to love our enemies, to turn the other cheek. How well do I do that? But these are God's people, God's creation. Who am I to think one person is "better" or more "worthy" to God? Who am I to judge who is worthy of salvation? Because the truth is, none of us are. But God has created each of us, given each a purpose. And I want to be available to encourage, to spur on, to love. And I need more of God to do so.

God broke a lot of walls down in my heart today. Now I'm just trying to figure out what the next step is while I'm standing here in the rubble :)

Lord, thank you for working in all circumstances, and thank you even more for all circumstances. Even the hard ones we'd like to erase or do differently. Help me to see that even the worst times are not for nothing. Jesus, I pray for the hurting and lost tonight, let them find rest in Jesus and hope in Your name. Thank you for the many tears that were shed today :) And please show your love and peace to those who are reading my post today. It's been a long time since I was this honest and transparent, so I pray for graciousness to me as I'm working to tear down these false walls of protection to let people into my life again!

A Moment of Distraction

2008-11-26T10:19:00.002-06:00

If I were 7 again I would....have finished playing Little League in T-shirts at the end of the summer and loving it.

If there were an extra hour in the day...I would work out more - running, lifting weights, abs, Tae Bo, take a dance or kickboxing class.

My junk food indulgence of choice is...Mountain Dew/Code Red and anything chocolate.

The color yellow makes me think of...errors that still need work on our IVR testing spreadsheets (yay for work!)

The most used item in my kitchen is...the garbage can :)

Things I'm thankful for today...

2008-11-17T15:42:00.003-06:00

1. Free McDonalds.

2. Reunionizing w/ great friends - spending even a short time w/ Meller & Andrea was saturating and encouraging and I love being able to join in their lives through prayer.

3. Friends willing to spend 5 hours in the car with me to go to IC for 4 hours :) Not only for their company and conversation, but for their accountability. I haven't been to IC since April and have never gone back without resorting to past choices that I'm trying to leave in the past. It was a good day, temptations were averted (well, old temptations were averted, because this time they weren't even temptations!). So, I'm very thankful for Emily & Chantalle for spending the day with me, and for Jess joining us for dinner.

4. Anticipating a roommate reunion - AO left a message on Facebook for New Year's plans and I'm eagerly awaiting more details. I'll hopefully get to see everyone in January for Meller's going away party at least.

5. Family birthday dinners. We had a good night of conversation, story telling, and laughter when we celebrated Grandma B's birthday at Carlos o'Kelly's. Follow that up w/ a night of bowling and hair dying and you've got yourself a fun Saturday night.

6. Chicago trip!! We leave in 4 days for Chicago - it will be my first time visiting. I've gone to the 'burbs to visit Six Flags and to the airport, but never downtown Chicago. Can't wait. It will probably be freezing, but oh well!

7. My job. It's been such a frustrating year in so many ways, and I'm trying not to let things get to my head - which can be hard when you do a good job and are complimented often; but to know that I am a valued and appreciated worker is such a compliment and I only hope that it can be attributed to my desire to do all things well and for the glory of God. I want my coworkers to see that there is something different about me and that it isn't me but it's God in me. I'm being blessed by new & growing friendships and will have an opportunity to spend time w/ the ladies next Wednesday when we get out early for the holidays. We're having a holiday cookie party after work at Boston's so it will be a chance to see people outside of the office. Pray for truth to be on my tongue through all conversations!

Lures & Jigs

2008-11-07T09:20:00.005-06:00

Homestarrunner rocks my socks off.

I don't know how many years ago it was posted, but I remember watching it for the first time my freshman year of college in 2002 - but it's still my favorite. And we quote it at work all the time.

"Come on and get in the boat, fish! Come on and get in the boat, fish-fish!"
"Yes I'm awesome!!"

Click here to check it out.

And this one made my mom laugh out loud.

Randoms...

2008-11-06T16:31:00.007-06:00

*To add an additional 'random' - can't forget that we live in a state that is 75+ degrees on Tuesday/Wednesday to turn to snow and highs of only 39 by Friday....ridiculous. I'm praying for a calm, light winter - bring on the cold, praying for less precipitation! First time I'll have to commute, not sure what to expect - pray for my safety and that of the other drivers on the road!!

Over the last few days random things have been brought to mind or have happened and I thought I'd share some of them here.

-Randomly remembered the road trip I took with Mike H & David D in 2003 to visit Jeff & Lisa T in Kansas City for the 4th of July. It was the first time I really did something spontaneous without telling anyone....and I got a lecture from Mom for taking a 14-year old out of the state without his parent's approval - I could have been arrested, according to her :) Great memory, we were only there for 18 hours before we had to come back home!

-I just got promoted today!! These were the comments from my supervisor:
"L consistently meets & exceeds the performance, adherence and attendance guidelines set within M*. She is a quick learner and eager to excel in her job. L displays excellent customer service skills as well as portrays a professional tone and solid product knowledge, when speaking with the insureds. She has received numerous compliments and awards for her outstanding customer service. Some of which are: 'Conservation - The Most Saves' for July and September 2008; '97% & Above for Adherence', 'Obtaining the Insured's Phone Number on Every Call', & 'Overall MVP for Meeting Benchmarks' for the motivational baseball game, played within the call center, to improve overall stats. She portrays a positive attitude and embraces change as growth opportunity. L is very well deserving of this promotion and a great asset to M*."

To any of you who have heard about this year - it's been challenging! (A stressful 3 month project that finally ended after 10 months!!) So thank you B* & M* for this promotion , it couldn't have come at a better time. I feel honored, recognized for the hard work that I have put in, and validated for my job performance. I am very humbled and grateful to be recognized in this way.

-I noticed I still have teeth marks on one of my shoes from a random friend who jokingly said they'd eat my shoe, put it in their mouth, and then bit it. That was almost a year ago.

-I enjoy inside jokes. Like divots. And flying ponies. Writing like the unibomber. Mmmbop.

I voted...

2008-11-04T18:30:00.003-06:00

I was ballot number 661 at my precinct. I did my duty after a somewhat last minute decision, I registered day-of and voted. There's still time! Polls are open until 9:00pm.

Bebo Norman's Britney

2008-11-02T22:35:00.003-06:00

"Suddenly, I saw her story not as something to mock, but as a real-life tragedy that is desperate for redemption and hope—a story not so different from any of our stories. Take away all the lights and cameras, and it’s really just a narrative of a girl so clearly in need of love, so clearly in need of the redeeming love of our God."

Read about the reason behind the song here.

I've been Tagged! (by Kelli)

2008-10-30T09:27:00.007-05:00

1. I hate being dirty. As a child, that's one of the great enjoyments - playing in the dirt, rolling in the grass getting grass stains, playing in the sandbox, sliding into second base during softball. But as an adult, I hate to sit on the ground, I hate getting stains/dirt on my clothes (or hands, face, etc.) but I think it's more because I don't do laundry all that often! I am a re-wearer, of most things. I tend to have one or 2 pair of jeans that I wear all the time, and will rewear until it's time to do laundry - which is usually every 2-3 weeks. For this reason, if I get "dirty", everyone will KNOW I'm re-wearing that same pair of jeans, that same sweatshirt, etc. And that's supposed to be my little secret. But when I do just take a moment, give into inhibitions, it's usually freeing and a lot of fun - example from this summer: the mud fight on the river during the high school tubing trip. I was ticked at first from all the mud splattering on my shorts & tank top, until Alycia came up from behind and smeared mud down the side of my face! After that, I gave in and it was all-out war with all the students - and it was a lot of fun - and the mud washed out of my clothes! (I didn't rewear this time ;) )

2. These are supposed to be random, and most people know this - but I still think it's a little weird. I am increasingly afraid of spiders and bugs w/ multiple long legs. And by afraid and increasingly, I mean that when I was in high school living in my basement bedroom, I'd kill spiders all the time - on my floors, on the walls, in the corners. But after a while, an aversion built up, I got sick of killing them, and moved back upstairs. Last year, I had an encounter in my bathtub while cleaning - met my match, so to speak :) I was home alone, no dad or brother-in-law to kill the massive spider (with thick, brown, hairy legs) on the curved ledge of my bathtub, and literally started to hyperventilate. I was crying, shaking, on the verge of a panic attack, and eventually resorted to torching the poor spider (not poor!) with a lighter! Since then, anytime I encounter a creature, my heart rate kicks into double time, I get really warm, and have to motivate/pep talk myself into being able to kill it. (I did resort to calling my dad over to my apartment once because I just couldn't do it! But since then, I've mustered up the courage!)

3. I'm a quality time person. I like being with people, doing things together. But I realized I'm really bad at asking good questions. I've heard it's a skill, and I don't think it's one I have. Small talk (for the purpose of small talk) makes me really uncomfortable. I hate "mingling" among a large crowd. I think that's why I'm more comfortable at home, or at a friend's house, rather than going out somewhere public. I don't like the social expectation that you should stop to talk to someone you know but aren't really friends with, because it's the "polite" thing to do. I think if I was better at asking questions, I might not dislike it as much.

4. I realized that I don't like sports. I haven't gone to a football game until last night since 2003 and I realized why - I get bored/distracted too easily. (With the exception of the Olympics! I set aside whatever else is going on for those 2 weeks and watch diligently!) But I LOVE games - card games, board games, any game that gets a group of people together and interacting. I just love being with people. And I'm uber-competitive (and a sore loser!). That's why Kelli & Marcus won't play Risk with me ever again....I'm hoping someday they'll give me another chance, I'm trying to be a more graceful loser!

5. I over-analyze. Everything and anything. I think it stems from my issue with control - I want to be prepared in all things, have an answer for all questions, be prepared for any situation. In work, in relationships, in friendships, in life decisions. It's something I struggle with constantly - I have a hard time making my own decisions for this reason.

6. I love me an ice cold Mountain Dew or Code Red. I go through phases where I try to give up pop, or try to eat healthier. But I'm a junk food junkie. I don't think I could realistically ever give up chocolate or pop completely. I've tried. I've done it for short periods of time. But I always come back. [Random side note - I've heard more radio & tv ads this year encouraging "healthy alternatives" to Halloween candy - pencils, small gifts/toys (like tiny containers of Play-doh)! I know it's bad to have so many sweets, but isn't that the point of Trick-or-Treating??]

7. I have 2 tattoos. I like to smoke a cigar once a year or so. I like fruity alcoholic drinks. Sometimes a swear word crosses my lips (usually only when confronted w/ a spider/centipede, pitching in softball, trying to play golf, or when I get suddenly scared or startled). I used to think these things were bad, sinful even. But through study, grace, and the Word, I've learned that God looks to the heart of a man - are these things idols in our life? Do we indulge in them, put them above our love for God? Are we taking part in these things out of a rebellious spirit or out of the freedom given in this life to enjoy these things? I'm thankful for lessons I've learned, for grace extended, and for freedom to love God and enjoy the things He's given us here on earth.

Now I'm tagging:

Lindsay
RuthAnn
Annie
Christina
Joni/Derek

Amy

Eli

"You have no idea what you would miss if you let this pass you by..."

2008-10-22T11:41:00.005-05:00

I have been following Angie's blog Bring the Rain for some time now, she is an amazing writer, has a way of saying things in such a clear, accurate fashion. Sometimes she says things I think/feel but don't have the words for. One such example is her post from yesterday, titled Ransomed. Please read the whole post, God is a-mazing.

Thanks God for speaking through the seemingly random things in life. But I know you are in all things, and with all things, so I shouldn't really be surprised :)

When pumpkins drink....

2008-10-21T22:04:00.003-05:00

How ironic...

2008-10-02T11:06:00.002-05:00

...as I'm browsing "The Office" information online in preparation for a future Office party, a call comes in.....and the caller's name is Michael Scott. No joke. It took all I had not to laugh or comment to the caller :)

I stand corrected...

2008-09-29T16:08:00.002-05:00

Thanks little J for pointing out it is in fact McDreamy and Meredith, not McSteamy. My bad, I forget they all have one of those names :)

And for the record - I CANNOT afford all the "time" that my Thursday tv viewing would require. So, it's time to let go. On the future schedule - Survivor and The Office. And if Lost comes back on Thursday, I'll add that too....maybe :) That's a show more fun to watch online, without all the long commercial interruptions. So we'll see.

Thanks for catching my mistake!

An eventful night planned...

2008-09-25T14:07:00.008-05:00

So this is going to crap on my post from yesterday, but I am SUPER PUMPED FOR PREMIERE THURSDAY!!!

On tonight's lineup:

7:00 p.m. - Survivor: Gabon - rumored to be "the most extreme and dangerous season yet". We'll see Probst, we'll see (p.s. congrats to Probst on the Emmy win for hosting Survivor).

8:00 p.m. - Grey's Anatomy (2 hour premier!)

I haven't watched Grey's from the beginning. I'm more of an on-again, off-again viewer. But I did watch the finale, it's rumored this season Izzie will have another love story, and it's always ominous when a main character tells another in last season's finale, "Don't go anywhere, wait for me. I'll be right back." Oh McSteamy, this cannot be a good sign for you and Meredith Grey.

10:00 p.m - The Office (which I will be watching on tape, no dvr for me!) I am fearful something bad will happen to Pam & Jim - they were so close to becoming engaged, but Pam had plans to go to art school for 3 months! Will they or won't they get engaged?!?!?

Woo-woo for a night of television! Thursdays are so great, but so time-consuming!! All my favorite shows in one night!

And one final shout-out for a premier to come:

The return of LOST - February 2009!!

If I were a Simpson....

2008-09-25T13:58:00.003-05:00

Not the most direct resemblance, but still fun.

What type of weather am I?

2008-09-25T11:18:00.000-05:00

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous

People will stop and watch you when you appear

Even though you're capable of random violence

You are best known for: your power

Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

geoGreeting

2008-09-24T16:45:00.002-05:00

Check it out!

Wordle

2008-09-24T15:51:00.001-05:00

I'm a blog jumper.

2008-09-24T09:48:00.002-05:00

I have gotten into the habit of reading comments on other people's blogs that I read throughout the day and it's been really fun. I have come across some really amazing women (and men!) and writing that has encouraged and challenged me. And at times others have been able to put into words the very things I think &/or feel, but just don't have the eloquence to put into words. One such example is this post : http://leslieruthpetree.blogspot.com/2008/09/tonight-on-60th-primetime-emmy-awards.html regarding what we watch on tv and what the 'next generation' is growing up with. It's something that has come to the forefront of my mind lately, mostly because I've always had a struggle w/ the tv - I love it too much! And I have started to get involved with college and high school students and really started to question what it is that shapes us, molds us, affects how we live and view our life and others around us. This post pretty much echoes my thoughts and feelings, and some of my frustrations.

Season 5 of The Office is just around the corner....

2008-09-22T23:00:00.005-05:00

....and to celebrate, I took The Office Personality Quiz and found I have a split personality.

I'm like Jan and Pam. An interesting, yet fairly accurate portrayal....I think.

Take it here: The Office TV Show Series on NBC: Find Video Webisodes Online � NBC Official Site

Hilarious

2008-09-11T23:23:00.001-05:00

I just about passed out when I watched this. Aside from the intro, my second favorite part comes in around the 1:53 time, so wait for it....wait for it...

2008 Beijing Olympic Highlights-According to Me

2008-08-22T15:17:00.010-05:00

As many of you probably have also done, I spent the last 2 weeks watching the Beijing Olympics, enjoying every victory, feeling every fall or loss, right along with the athletes participating. Now I don't know Shawn Johnson or Lolo Jones, but I've felt a unique Iowa connection with these ladies, probably along with everyone else in this state, so below are pictures I borrowed from various online sources regarding the highlights of 'my' Beijing Olympic experience - enjoy!

Swimming

I was in D.C. for the relay that Phelp's should have lost - when Jason Lezak came back in the last 25 meters to help bring the 2nd gold for Phelps. Christie and I were on our feet, fists in the air, screaming at the tv...at 10:45pm...with her roommates trying to sleep. Donna came out, she thought we'd saw a mouse or something because we were freaking out so much....but not as much as Michael :)

Can't find a picture of the race Phelps won by 1/100th of a second - but it was stinkin' amazing. Watching it in slow motion was ridiculous, the 2nd place swimmer was inches away from the wall when Phelps took another stroke to out-touch him. Amazing....was also off the couch and on my feet on that one.

Diving

I was at Iowa when Nancilea (Underwood) Foster was part of our 24/7 leadership team. I had heard she was going back to Texas to train for the Beijing Olympics, but I really thought I heard she made it as an alternate. Come to find out, I was wrong. She dove on the 3meter springboard and it was just crazy to think someone I knew and spent some time with at our leadership retreat (we weren't super friends, just had a few conversations with her) was there competing at the Olympics. Fun stuff.

Women's Gymnastics

Alicia Sacramone had a rough time in the team competition - falling off the beam, stepping out of bounds on floor.

Now, this isn't probably very nice - but these are 'highlights' of my Olympics 2008 experience - and watching gymnastics with friends one night, someone made the observation that Nastia Liukin always looks pissed or unhappy unless she's winning something....there is a little truth to that:

(Nastia got gypped out of a gold on bars due to a tie breaker)Out of this (and probably not the first time) - her nickname was born: 'Nasty-(a) Lookin'. I'm truly sorry Nastia, I'm still a fan and supporter, but I have to admit - it made me laugh. And now when I say "Nastia", I can't help but say it with an unnecessary accent.

Nastia, all smiles on the podium:And after 3 silvers, Shawn gets gold on beam.Controversy over the Chinese girls - are they 16? Their passports say so, but records turned up confirming at least 1 of the 3 girls in question is only 14. Could that mean the USA's silver could turn to gold? Guess we'll just have to wait and see...

I was definitely one of those people who stayed up way past my bedtime to watch the medal rounds and finals of most of the events - sleep can be overrated (except when you're trying to stay awake while driving to work only 6 hours later!!)

Men's Gymnastics

I'm not one to be overly patriotic, but when it came to the Olympics, it was another story. I was not one to root for the Chinese - all that hype about having to win more medals - except when it came to the rings, I just couldn't help myself. That's my favorite apparatus (sweet word :) ) for the men - the Chinese are just awesome.

Chen Yibing won gold on rings - this parallel move is my favorite - ridiculous how much strength and control they must have! Their shoulders are crazy!!

Yeng Wei - just a cutie-pa-tootie :) I think I may have a small crush:

Track & Field

I was super rooting for Des Moines' Lolo Jones - she rocked out the semifinals, but as everyone knows by now, she clipped the 9th hurdle in the finals and got 7th place. It was heartbreaking to watch her reaction. She remained humble during her interview afterward, but then the camera showed her off crying by herself. It made me sad and frustrated and I wished the media would've just let her have that moment alone off camera.

Usain Bolt also dominated his events - but I couldn't get over how cocky he acted - slowing down, looking around, pounding his chest - all before he even crossed the finish line. What a punk. But he can still run fast.

Sand Volleyball

Two-time Olympic Gold medalists - this was an awesome match to watch (I couldn't believe how tall the Chinese players were). The men's gold medal match was a nail-biter - went to 3 sets, but Dalhausser dominated the 3rd game with his blocks.

Last, but not least....the Olympic Mascots:

When I was in Beijing in January 2005, we saw posters for these mascots EVERYWHERE to promote the 2008 Olympics. I literally did not see the mascots shown on tv until Tuesday, week 2 - there was a clip about Chinese kites and on one of the kites were the images of these mascots:

Either I didn't pay attention earlier in the week or they just weren't as an important icon as I thought they would be.

I'm a sucker for the Olympics.

2008-08-15T12:23:00.000-05:00

Even though I was exhausted, I stayed up until 12:15 to watch the All-around finals and medal ceremony.

And I'm not too proud to admit I got teary-eyed watching the last floor routines by Shawn and Nastia. It's such a great feat to put so much heart and soul and time into your passion. Love, love, love watching the Olympics. Can't wait to see if Phelps breaks the record for most golds in one Olympics!!

I kid you not...

2008-08-14T09:33:00.002-05:00

Literally not 10 minutes after I posted about the bug last night, I go to my room to get ready for bed. I'm picking stuff up off the floor and as I move my little tool kit tote bag, another of the ugly centipede bugs goes scurrying across my carpet and behind my dresser. Again, I start to hyperventilate. But the Lord brought more calmness. I go to the kitchen, grab the bug spray I have, the flashlight, and put on my flipflops.

I shine the light behind my dresser, see the huge ugly guy, and spray him with the bug spray, he comes scurrying back out from the dresser, I scream a little bit, he's a fast sucker. Then I stomp on him w/ my left flipflop - flashlight and bug spray bottle still in hand. I'm applying pressure, praying for the fear to subside, pressing my foot harder and harder, afraid to pick it up. After a few minutes, my heart rate lessens, I move my shoe - wipe some guts and legs off the bottom and scoop up the squished nastiness and flush him down the toilet.

I am officially creeped out. I HATE bugs. Lord, help my irrational fear subside - no creature can rule over me nor hurt me. Help me have patience, boldness and fearlessness.

Ew.

What would I do without my dad?

2008-08-13T22:40:00.002-05:00

I know there is a huge list of reasons I could share for why I love my dad, but one is his willingness and availability to be there when you need him....even if it's for the most ridiculous thing.

For example, tonight I spent some time at my parents' hearing about Jess's trip to Latvia and watching the Olympics. I come home to take a shower and get ready for bed and as I enter the kitchen to get some water, I see a GI-NORMOUS bug just chillin' on the wall below my air conditioner. It's one of those long black centipede-type bugs with lots of long thick legs, legs so long it looks like it's almost floating away from the wall. The kind that are fast if you miss them. I've killed about 4 or 5 since I've moved in - they're so nasty that one even kind of stained the carpet in my bedroom from squishing it. I'm getting the heeby-jeebies just thinking about it.

So anyway, I grab the flyswatter, 2 napkins (because one will just not be enough) and put on my flip flops. I enter the kitchen and the stand-off begins. I pray - Lord, this is just a bug, don't let my fear rule over me. But my fear continues to increase, as does my heart rate and anxiousness. I take a few deep breaths and just can't do it. So....I called my dad.

Yes, his first response was to laugh, but as I break down into tears, he says he's on his way. And 10 minutes later I opened the door (I was standing in my living room keeping an eye on it to make sure it didn't scurry away - flyswatter in hand, tears flowing down my cheeks as I'm still letting my fears get to me) and there is my dad - my hero of the night, his own flyswatter in hand :) "Lindsay, it's okay, remember it's just a bug. He's more afraid of you than you are of him." Ah, the flashbacks to the same lesson I was taught when I was seven.

Dad goes into the kitchen, moves the shelving away from the wall (which I was too nervous to do for fear the bug would beeline it and I'd lose him, he'd be wandering around, hidden and emerge again sometime to stir up these crazy fears all over again). I think Dad got him on the 2nd swat. Crisis ended. My heart was still pounding, cheeks still wet from tears.

Dad, I know it's stupid. But thanks for loving your little girl, your 24 year old daughter who is still afraid to kill the bugs. Tonight you rescued me and loved me and were there for me when I needed you even when you knew I could probably take care of the situation myself if you'd refused to come. But I'm truly thankful and grateful you understood and came to my apartment and killed the ugly bug. I love you Dad!

I'm going to D.C.!!

2008-07-10T18:48:00.004-05:00

In 4 weeks from today, I will board a plane to go visit my good friend Christie.She's been working in D.C. for the last few months and we're going to reunionize for a few days. She'll show me the ropes around town and is trying to hook us up with the inside access to the Capitol, where she works, and maybe even the West Wing & Oval Office :) Can't wait!!

Christie is one of those people who just became an instant friend. Somehow we bonded over Gilmore Girls and homemade frozen drinks :) Christie wears her heart on her sleeve, always has a smile on her face, and is someone I can be myself with and know she'll always love and never judge.
Love you friend, can't wait to see you!

Colorado Road Trip

2008-07-09T17:46:00.007-05:00

In March AO, Juliana and I took a weekend road trip to Denver. We stayed with family friends of the O'Rourkes - the Fricke's. They were wonderful, super hospitable. AO's brother Sean drove up from Phoenix for the weekend to join us as well. It was so much fun - played some Euchre, went swing dancing in downtown Denver, and went skiing (my first time ever!) in Loveland.

Swing dancing was an adventure. I would have been just fine sitting on the sidelines, observing. But a few young gents were kind enough to ask me to dance, and I actually ended up enjoying myself! Can't say I was any good, but it was fun none the less.

Skiing was crazy! I felt like a little toddler on the skis, learning how to walk again. It took all my energy just to get myself to the lift! It's a really odd feeling to try to make my body, joints, and muscles move in ways they never have before. The sad thing is there were young kids who owned the mountain, they put me to shame :) I took 2 pretty big spills right off the bat, the second of which found me flying down the mountain face first in a puff of snow. Afterward, AO told me she didn't want to admit it, but it actually scared her a little. Thankfully, nothing was hurt. I did whip my arm around when my pole got stuck in the snow and my body kept going, but the only effect from my ski adventure was that my entire body was sore the next day. I don't think I'll become a ski bum, but it was still a lot of fun.

AO, Sean, Lindsay, Juliana, Sheryl, & Glen

Whaa....2 posts in the same day?

2008-07-02T22:44:00.012-05:00

So, many of you probably know I've moved back to Boone. And I know, it might be a little lame, or not that exciting, but I wanted to share my new place with you. This is the first time I've ever lived on my own. The first time to buy "grown up" things like furniture, dishes; be responsible to put the rent check in the mail :) I've always had roommates before, it's my first time doing these things. So here's a tour of my new place.

The gift Mom got for my new place - the welcome mat:

The view across the living room from the front door, looking into my bedroom - yep, I still have some unpacking to do:

My bedroom - still in need of some organization, and some decoration on the walls:

You have to go through my bedroom to get to my bathroom. I hung a sheet as a makeshift "door". But the nice thing about living alone is I don't have to worry so much about keeping the door closed! I hung this mostly for privacy for friends and family who visit.

The previous tenant left the shower curtain and there is a cute little cubby in the wall - perfect access to the early morning necessities :)

The view from my bedroom to the other side of the living room (front door to the right):

Through the door to the left of the living room is my lovely, spacious kitchen.

As you can see, still more unpacking to do...

This might be weird, but look at all the great garage sale/Goodwill finds! 2 full sets of dishes, coffee mugs, glasses from Walmart, pans and Tupperware:

I love the little alcove for my kitchen table - which came from The Furniture Zone in Boone that I didn't even know existed - so many great deals. The table came with 2 leaves and 2 extra chairs......which I keep in my storage closet! I can't believe how much space I have in this apartment. Now I just need to get organized and figure out the "place" for everything. I'm not a super neat or clean person, but I do like things to have their own place, or pile :)

I am using the front closet for my clothes. During Floods of '08, my bedroom closet had some leaking from the chimney above it, so this was going to be a temporary thing. But as you can see, I completely fill BOTH rows of the closet! So I'm thinking this might stay permanently.And of course, there are still a few things to be unpacked and organized:Now, this might not come as a surprise to many of you, but I HATE sweating in the summer - so Joel was so great to put in a BRAND NEW AIR CONDITIONER!! Woo-woo!

Well, guess that's it for now, give me a call if you're ever nearby and I'll have you over!!

A new post...that should have been added a while ago!

2008-07-02T22:11:00.007-05:00

I'm not so good at keeping up w/ this blog thing, but life has been changing a lot in the last couple of months, so there is a lot to update on.

The first is my good friends Katie and Eli were married in March and it was a sweet and needed reunion w/ some of the people I love the most. It was beautiful to watch Katie & Eli's ceremony and have watched their relationship grow over the last couple of years and see how Eli earned her trust and love and chose to love her well - so thanks Eli; and Katie - love and miss you and think of you often!

Kelly, Meller, AO, Nox, Andrea, it was so much fun to catch up with each of you, see your beautiful faces. Miss you girls tons.

And Drew, what a great guy you are. I love your heart and the way you have loved Kelly, it's a true blessing to have lived w/ Kelly and gotten to know you as part of the "family" of Ellis. Miss you guys.

I am truly blessed with friends, laughter, memories, and life lessons from these beautiful women. Miss you girls, praying for you often!

2008-05-07T14:39:00.001-05:00

Grace of God
Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days or never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace. ~ Jerry Bridges

Wise words

2008-04-29T13:30:00.001-05:00

I came across this comment on a blog I read....so true are these words, especially as I continue to debate the pros/cons for moving to Colorado. Sometimes my fear or the longing for "home" makes me doubt the desire to make this move. But here's the comment I'm stealing:

"The sense of 'homesickness' never leaves, the longer ... and the closer you follow The Lord, it appears to me. The mistake we all too easily make is in settling for a "sense of home" here. We like that feeling of familiarity, but it inevitably leads us to a more shallow satisfaction about life and humanity and God's Great creation. The longing for home is intensified the longer we are "away from our roots" ... but being away, at the very least, unblinds us to the fact that we can never "go back" ... we can only go on. Those who "stay around home" too long develop a narrow view on life, and a preference for living in a world where nothing ever changes ... all the while the world is spinning on ahead of them, leaving them behind as it makes it's way "...ever turning toward that one, far-off Divine Event" (Tennyson). That's where we find Home. If we've really been looking of it. It's there, because of the One Who left His Home to come get us and take us there."

The jitters

2008-04-17T13:32:00.008-05:00

I have been drinking a 20 oz. Mountain Dew this morning and am really starting to feel the caffine buzz. My body is a little warm, my arms a little tingly, and I find that I'm talking fairly quickly on the phone and getting out of breath easily. My heart is racing.

Probably will have to not drink the Dew during work anymore....

(PS - Is this copyright infringement? Am I breaking a law by putting this on my page? Someone let me know, I'm new to this blogger thing.)

A couple of things...

2008-02-21T12:31:00.003-06:00

1. Jess and I went to see Jumper at the matinee last weekend. In the middle of the movie, I look over, we're right next to the aisle, and I see a woman leaning over something on the floor, then I hear this comment, "Is he drunk?" I realized there is a man down in the aisle and his friend and this woman are trying to get him to stand up and he was just limp. I didn't have my cell phone so I asked Jess if she had hers, but she didn't hear me as she was busy watching this as well. So after a few seconds, I jumped up and ran out to inform the ushers that someone needed to call 911, I believe my exact words, in my hurried, frenzied, adrenaline-ridden response was something to the effect of, "There's a man passed out in Jumper, someone needs to call a...a...doctor." I went back to the theater only to find the man, who was probably a college student, being carried out the door by 4 people - and Jess was one of them. My immediate thoughts were, "That looks awkward....somebody, quick! Help my sister!" The guy appeared to be completly passed out, his body dead weight, and I saw Jess's effort to carry him safely, plus she's still recovering from her surgery! She shouldn't have to be the one to carry this guy away. Anyway, they lay him down in the hallway, the woman from the aisle, who wasn't with these guys, was trying to get his attention, get his circulation & breathing steady - it was pretty sluggish. We're standing there watching this, and my legs were just trembling, I assume it was the adrenaline. I've never seen someone really passed out before. After a few minutes, he slowly opened his eyes. His friends said he'd been sick, had the flu or bronchitis for the last few days, had taken some Nyquil, but as far as they knew, wasn't on drugs or alcohol.

So Jess and I went back to watch the rest of the movie - about 25 more minutes. I don't know if they took him away in an ambulance, why he passed out, or if he's okay. All I know is the hallway was empty when the movie ended. So Jordan, I hope that you are okay, I'm glad we were there to help you out, and I'd hope that other people in a similar situation would react the same as these women and my sister - there's nothing like the kindness & concern of strangers. I'm thankful to have played a role, no matter how small.

2. I went to an Ultimate Fighting match last night in WDM. I was actually kind of nervous going - I've heard about them, know of a friend who's actually fought in one, and just was not sure what I was going to encounter. I'm thinking of all the fighting movies I've seen, was picturing blood splurting...and stuff. Well, thankfully, the blood splurting was minimal - only occurred once when a guy got a bloody lip and kept fighting. Some were over in mere seconds, others lasted 2 rounds. Each time I became more and more amazed at the sport of it. I'm thinking, how can these guys go to town kicking & hitting each other, one finally winning, and both able to shake hands and pat each other on the back. I mean, you just got the crap kicked out of you and you're all buddy-buddy now? Maybe that's just the competitive, sore-loser side of me. I have a feeling though that for those guys, it's about the sport, not that they actually want to beat each other up in anger. It's just such a weird situation - guys beating each other up & willingly putting themselves in the situation to take it. Crazy......but is it bad that I really enjoyed watching it?

New York - Part 3: Niagara Falls - Canada

2008-02-16T09:24:00.018-06:00

Day 1: This is the view from New York of our hotel - The Sheraton on the Falls. We tried to play slots at the casino, but they only accepted Canadian money - and for whatever reason we just sucked at getting our money changed - the slots wouldn't accept it, so all I got to show for our attempt was this $5.00 can of coke - really it was $2.00 but I lost the rest in the slots....I guess all the jokes about "dumb foreigners" at Yuk-Yuks comedy club might actually have some shred of truth.

While wating for the comedy show to begin we walked around town, ate dinner at The Spicy Olive, and took a ride in the Skywheel.

Jess didn't like it when I rocked the little pod, but she was a good sport.

Day 2: Viewing the Falls from Canada.

My favorite were these signs posted all along the Falls.......and Jess not seeing it as important to heed their warning.We went to the top of the Skylon Tower by riding up in the little yellow elevator along the outside. It was pretty cool.

The views from the top:
It was both freezing & extremely windy. Jess just about passed out from laughing the first time she saw her hair in this picture. It is pretty hilarious, especially if you click to view the larger image.

Day 3: Visited the Hershey & Coke stores and bought some cool sunglasses at the $15.00 store.Enjoying dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe - notice the Coke as my beverage of choice........not so much for Jess - she enjoyed a margarita as she was legal in Canada. I'm such a great influence on my sister.

We had a blast, totally can't wait for another "sister" trip. Love you, Jess!

New York - Part 2: Niagara Falls - New York side

2008-02-10T14:21:00.000-06:00

We were really excited to be heading to Canada - too bad they don't have to stamp your passport anymore, we took ours anyway, just in case.First we had to cross this bridge onto Goat Island. We stopped at the state park to view the Falls from the U.S. before we crossed the border.There was a statue of Nikola Tesla - I don't know much about him, but he was in the movie The Prestige and was a pretty important inventor who designed the first hydro-electric power plant in Niagara Falls.

Jess & me on Goat Island.
We took a tour down to the Cave of the Winds.

They take you down in an elevator. When the weather is nice, they let you walk up these wooden walkways right to the bottom of the Falls. We were about a week or two too late so this is as far as we were allowed to go.Before I left for the trip, my Grandma kept reminding me to be careful and not get to close to the Falls because I might fall in. Well, I took this picture just to make her nervous. Jess and I took several "daring" pictures and made a collage for her for Christmas.

Right over Horseshoe Falls the mist was making icicles on all the trees and bushes.

Wrestling...

2008-02-08T10:26:00.001-06:00

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.

Psalm 13

David's just better at putting his thoughts & wrestlings with the Lord into words than I am. Thanks David for speaking what my heart feels, for the truth you remind me of when it feels like the enemy is winning. The Lord has been good to me. I rejoice in my salvation, I will sing to the Lord.

OZZY'S BACK!!

2008-02-07T11:29:00.000-06:00

I look forward to this day twice a year, and my favorite Ozzy is in the bunch! Not to mention James and Yau-Man. Should be exciting.

New York - Part 1: RIT/NTID & Lake Ontario

2008-02-04T20:26:00.000-06:00

Alright, time to post some pictures! I'll have to do them in phases - I just don't have time to get them all loaded to my blog at once. Yay for internet at Panera!

I was so excited when I got to RIT/NTID - November 15th and it was still fall colors everywhere you looked! I was really nervous that all the leaves would be gone by the time I got there, but thankfully they hung in there.

Jess and I just have this thing for taking silly pictures of ourselves, I'm not sure when that started.

We also spent a couple of hours at Lake Ontario. We ate lunch at the park and played on the shore.

It was beautiful, but FREEZING!! Especially out on the end of this pier. It was so windy, we almost got blown away, and we were soaked from all the waves.

I love this picture - especially the birds flying away!

As we drove along the lake, we kept seeing this sign, so we followed the arrows and it took us to this dead-end park. I really am not sure what it was all about. Maybe I just need to learn more about our history.

Man, what happened?

2008-01-31T11:19:00.000-06:00

I was all about getting better at posting to my blog, and it just hasn't happened yet! I'd like to say I've kept busy, which I kind of have, but on the flip side, I've had a lot of time where I could have gotten out of my house to go to a coffee shop for some internet access, but it seems I just haven't done it yet. Sorry blog world - Jess, thanks for the comment, I needed a little push :)

Work's been CRAZY! There are several different call centers in my company, one of which is only able to handle about 600 calls a day, and for a few weeks were receiving 1800-2200! Probably not hard to figure it out, but that's a lot of people who are not receiving good service from their policies! So they pulled 8 of us out of our call center to help them out - 8 out of 30-ish! They wanted to try and balance out our service levels. We received crash-course training in 2 1/2 days (after already taking calls for a day or 2!) But thankfully, we're better prepared, we know how to access & utilize completely different resources, and are now helping out until the next class of new hires have been trained. Thankfully, the call volumes have lessened extremely in the last day or 2, so it's much more manageable now. Too bad they didn't pull us out prior to annual reviews, I could have used it to fight for a bigger raise! Oh well, it's always good to be a team player. It definitly changed things up, keeps my on my toes. The only down side was it was so stressful for a few days before we could have actual training that I dreamed about work for about a week. Nobody wants to work all day and then dream about it all night, just to get up and do it all over again. Thankfully, that's come to an end recently too, my dreams are much more pleasant again :)

I'll try to post some pictures soon.

Sorry....it's been a few months...

2007-12-06T16:25:00.000-06:00

Not having internet at home has limited my ability to post on a more frequent basis.
1 - I like to post pictures, and I just don't have them on my work computer.
2 - Fall enrollments are finally coming (have come) to a close, which means I can breathe again between calls at work! And it's not just a breath, it's almost enough for a nap, but I can't complain.
3 - I have a hard time putting things into words anyway, so though I have several things I could have blogged about, I've just kept putting them off!

Well, no more! I'm back, I'll try to be more consistent, and we'll see what happens.

For starters - I went to Niagara Falls w/ Jess the weekend before Thanksgiving and we had a blast - pics to come once I can load them onto my computer - I'm short on disc space so I have to coordinate it w/ my internet access.....Panera, we'll have a date in the near future (I LOVE their chicken noodle soup!!)

I've been at work 7 1/2 hours and talked to 26 people, average talk time 4:19, you do the math, that's a lot of free time today :) I've played a many game of TestTwist, MahJong, and Super Collapse 3; done 2 crossword puzzles, read People's Sexiest Man Alive issue that I bought while waiting out the weather at the airport in Chicago; checked email dozens of times; read Joel for my daily Bible reading and read everyone else's blogs. Blast for want of more stimulating things to do. I'm waiting for the library to call with the next Karen Kingbury book I have on hold - Found. We were all hoping they'd shut the office down early for the "snow storm" that's been coming in. I haven't been outside today, heard roads are bad, just not enough to close down - apparently buildings downtown closed early, according to rumors circulating the floor anyway.

I opened my first Christmas gift last night :) The entire series of Friends!! Can you believe it? I certainly was in shock. Merry Christmas came a little early! Gotta love living with Kel & Marcus. They let me turn on the Christmas lights, put on Christmas music, light some candles so it smelled like "Christmas" and they let me open their gift. Thanks you guys!!

Our company decided today via a conference call to close our office on Christmas Eve!! Woo-woo for an extra holiday! They were orignally going to close at 1:00pm, now we have the whole day off!!

2007-09-07T11:35:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling kind of blue lately.

Blue in the sense that there are so many desires and joys of my heart, but for some reason, I have burried them deep w/in me. I have somehow lost who I am. I have been reading the Word a lot lately, it's been delicious to spend time in scripture; but at the same time, I'm seeing a reflection of myself and am having a hard time loving who God made me to be. Not because I don't like it, but because I don't see it. I have somehow buried my personality under layers and layers of fear of being exposed, judged, disliked, hurt. I've received comments that broke my spirit and instead of rising above the pain, I took those pieces and buried them deep inside my heart.

I don't know who I am anymore. I waste time w/ nothing. I pass my days in loneliness. Each day I long for new relationships, new experiences, new ways to live life and meet new people. And each day I get off from work, go home to my apartment, and pass time until it's time for bed. What am I doing? Why am I afraid to venture out on my own? Why do I feel the need to cling to the comfort of another person to take any steps of faith? Why have I choosen to find my "acceptance" by the standards of man? Why am I afraid to trust God?

Lord, I know you're working an amazing thing in my heart. Keep my eyes open to your leading, to your teaching, to the stirring of my heart. Help me not be afraid of what you reveal to me in its depths. Lord, heal my past hurts, let me let you have the broken pieces to restore. God I long to trust you, but am for whatever reason afraid to do so. I keep looking for another person to comfort & protect me.
God, show me where I can find rest in you, in the depth and truth of your word, and in the expression of my heart. Lord, help me find who I am, who you created me to be. I pray for a spirit of love and truth and faith, not one of timidity. Lord help me to embrace my own heart, my fears, my longings, my needs, and let me give them into your hands. Lord, help me find you, face to face, no barriers or fear in between us. No lies to believe anymore. Jesus, I need you.

39 hours and counting....

2007-08-22T15:23:00.000-05:00

....And I will be in San Diego with Katie!

I am excited for several reasons:

1) I haven't seen Katie since March and in that time she has gotten ENGAGED, decided to move to TENNESSEE and I am looking forward to all the DETAILS!!

2) I haven't taken a vacation for a very long time. I'm so ready to get anywhere outside of Iowa, just for a change of scenery. It will be quick, but hopefully full and refreshing.

3) We are hopefully going to visit the Museum of Natural History's exhibit on the Dead Sea Scrolls. They are something I have wanted to see, pretty much since I learned they existed (and found out what they were!). Unfortunatly I also found out they do not allow any cameras inside - I was desparately hoping for some awesome artistic shots of such an amazing piece of our history. But check out this link for general information on the scrolls: http://www.sdnhm.org/scrolls/dss_faqs.html; or http://www.sdnhm.org/scrolls/index.html for general information on the exhibit. I'm so excited!

4) Flying/Travelling by myself for the first time ever! I could hardly sleep this morning, I was already anticipating what would happen if I overslept Friday and missed my flight. I'm getting too paranoid! Just got to pray about it and leave the details w/ the Lord, I over-plan for pretty much everything I do. I have to TRUST He will care for me and that things will come together.

5) Katie Brannan hugs! I know that if you know Katie, you KNOW what I'm talking about!

6) Blessings by conversation, fellowship, laughter, sunshine, sleepiness, and catching up w/ old college roommates. So worth a tired week at work afterward.

Can't wait to see you Katie!!

I'm a WINNER!

2007-08-17T16:01:00.000-05:00

Today was Fair Day at work. We had a celebration complete with hot dogs, snacks, casual dress day - meaning t-shirts were okay!, and we ended the day with a butter sculpting contest.

I know, I know, only in Iowa.
(I'm not a fair aficionado, so maybe it's not only in Iowa???)

Anyway, I wasn't real sure about my feelings for sculpting things in butter, but I thought, could be fun. And my break just happened to fall right in the time allowed for construction. I don't think of myself as a super creative person, yet I have my quirks. So I decided to follow a route that proved successful in the past.

I sculpted a penguin out of my stick of butter. I even made a semi-circle igloo home for my friend. (Misch and I had carved a penguin in our pumpkin at Halloween last year.)

And I won 1st prize!

I wish I had a picture of the winning sculpture, but I don't have a camera here at work. Plus, by now all of the creations may have melted. Maybe I'll figure out a way to sneak a shot w/ my camera phone.....unless they've already found their way into a trash can!

It got me thinking

2007-08-01T16:01:00.002-05:00

I talked to a friend yesterday about past relationships and sin issues. Questions were raised as to why certain decisions were made and it really made me ponder my actions in the last year or so.

I think I have gotten fuzzy vision in my thinking about God, sin, grace, love, pride, and control. I know I struggled for a long time with these ideas and truths and I am still kind of standing in the midst of the fog. But I think the clearest and simplest truth is that I am a sinner. God loved and loves me and Jesus laid down His life for me. He has called me to lay down my life and follow Him, to be made in His likeness, and to live this life I have been given for Him. This last year I lost sight of that purpose, that calling, and lived for myself - fighting against God's word and commands. I forgot that it isn't about not doing what God tells me I should/shouldn't do - I became really rebellious against God's commands in my mind and my heart. But it is about choosing to TRUST God is who He says He is and that He really knows me and has my best in mind, even when I can't see or understand that. God is and was not trying to withhold good from me. I was trying to take what was not yet given to me. I did not trust God. Plain and simple.

So now where do I go from here? I have known the Lord for 11 years, realizing that is crazy, that even knowing someone for 11 years, you never fully REACH realization, truth, some end. It is a journey, and in the last 11 years the Lord has walked with me I've wandered in many valleys and deserts, and reached some amazing peaks with Him (sorry for cliches). But it's true, I will never FULLY know God, his purposes, his goodness, until I see Him face to face. But I can keep seeking Him, keep discovering new facets of His heart, His character, His love. That is what I want to truly know, that is what I want to do w/ my life - seek God, know God, love God, be loved by God, and live confident in Him.

I did it....

2007-08-01T16:01:00.001-05:00

........I got a new car!!

She's a 2004 Dodge Neon SXT, lovely charcoal gray beauty.

Crazy. I'm on my own now....

Today is a popular day...

2007-07-27T10:52:00.000-05:00

My very first call at work this morning was from a customer who was also celebrating a birthday today, she is turning 60. What an fun way to start the morning when you have to work on your birthday.

It's 11am and I have spoken to 2 customers celebrating a birthday today.

Harry Potter....don't worry, I won't give anything away

2007-07-27T10:42:00.000-05:00

I started reading the last installment in the Harry Potter series yesterday afternoon. Thankfully I had not heard any rumors or details that give away any plot information....right until I got ready to sit down and open it up. Jess told me a rumor she had heard, that 2 of the prime characters died in the first 10 pages. WHAT?!?! Needless to say, without giving anything else away, I will safely say that rumor is just that, a rumor.

I read 2 chapters yesterday and am looking forward to reading every spare minute I have between celebrating my birthday, trying to sign loan/car papers, seeing Lindsay and Dameon get married and driving back to Ames on Monday to pick up my new car!!

Can't wait.

So much craziness....so much fun

2007-07-27T10:04:00.000-05:00

I officially bought my first car last night. I signed the papers for a 2004 charcoal gray Dodge Neon SXT. It's a cute little car that is a major step up from my lovely 1994 Ford Escort that I've had for the last 6 1/2 years. It is sort of bittersweet in that I almost feel guilty abandoning my current car, she has treated me so well, but has definitely seen better days. And spending 2 1/2 hours talking financing and loans and insurance and warranties made my stomach turn in knots. It was a little overwhelming to make such a big purchase. It was definitely a milestone in the "big decisions" I've made. I was thinking over those things I had checked off as being "big" or "adult" and here are some of the things I remember:

*Buying a cd player for my Escort the day after my dad bought her for me from my aunt Barb.

*Paying for my first trip without my parents - going to Florida for senior year Spring Break w/ Annie, Catie, Brooke, Lindsay and Ashley.

*Getting a tattoo the summer I turned 18. (I would have mentioned the belly button ring, but that was more rebellious than responsible :) )

*Choosing to transfer to Iowa and leave my sister, my high school friends, and basically step out on my own for the first time - a huge step of faith with the Lord as well.

*Going to China, basically trusting the Lord with making a decision to go in about 3-4 days. Going overseas for the first time and experiencing a new culture and loving and serving the Lord with my friends and learning from the hearts of Chinese college students and professionals.

*Buying a new car, taking out a loan and being responsible for all aspects for the first time in my life (my dad is desperatley trying to cut my ties to him....and by him I mean his wallet :) )

So much fun stuff.....I don't know if I can stand the anxiety

2007-07-26T09:49:00.000-05:00

Last night my sisters and I got ice cream at Hickory Park and I was joking about asking to sit at the bar.....the ice cream bar, because it looked kind of busy and all we wanted was ice cream. My sisters dared me to ask the host to sit at the bar, and I totally did it. At first he looked kind of uncertain, like he felt bad he had to tell me there was no bar, but then I threw in "....the ice cream bar." He totally cracked up, I think he thought I was funny. So then I told him my name and that when they announce our table was ready, they could just say over the loudspeaker, "Happy Birthday Lindsay," to which he continued to laugh. I love to entertain. We then proceeded to make dares for Kel & Jess - Kel came out of the bathroom with a long piece of toilet paper trailing from her flip flop. Jess got up and signed with the servers when they sang the happy birthday song - unfortunately they did the Do-ah-diddy song instead of the Happy Happy Birthday song, so she wasn't as prepared :) We enjoyed some silly pictures and a few entertaining games of Hangman on the back of the menus, just like old times. We had done Great Plains for dinner, love their take-home cups.

The night just continued to get better - Jess drove us around in her new (used) Allero, a beautiful, white, sleek car. It made me want to find my own! So we drove to the dealership and spent another 2-2 1/2 hours looking at cars and test driving a cute charcoal Dodge Neon that I really like, it's affordable, and has pretty good mileage....now I can't stop throwing numbers and loan questions and financing words around in my brain. Thankfully the Lord gave me peace and let me sleep through the night - even though it was only about 5 1/2 hours.

THEN....I got to work this morning, geared with all the information I have to research loans and insurance stuff, and Cheryl handed me a brand new copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. I can't even wait to start it! But I am refraining while on the job, because the phone interrupting me will get really annoying really fast. So it sits neatly on the corner of my desk, waiting to be taken home and devoured.

I was trying to get some time off work tonight so I can call banks, get my driver's license renewed, clean up the apartment and maybe even make it back to Ames to look at the car again. Basically to have some time to do all the hectic details to get organized for my exciting weekend. I have these 4 "bonus" hours, I don't even know what that really means, but I am trying to use them to get off early and haven't heard a response yet whether I've been approved or denied :( It's already after 11, I may be stuck here all day, I guess I'll survive...

....at least there is a lot to look forward to!

Just thought I would update with some photos....

2007-07-13T21:28:00.000-05:00

Here is Jess and her best friend from IWCC Esther on the night of their pinning ceremony:

We ate dinner on the floor - Kelli and Marcus had a sweet upgrade to an Asian themed suite:

Probably not the most pleasant way to be awakened in the morning - poor Jess:

Fun with Kelli's Macbook:

This one seems pretty artistic, I like that it looks like it's raining:

Now this one will be the most incriminating - but this is what I'd look like if I were only a bit.....larger:

Tracy is so creative - her son Jonah's 4th birthday - Spiderman theme:

Tatum kept pulling on the string with her finger and giggling when it would bounce up:

The kids watching Jonah open his presents:

Jonah in his tool belt with his sweet weed-whacker - only the coolest toy a boy could ever get:

Hope you enjoyed!

Almost time to go home....

2007-07-03T12:43:00.000-05:00

Why is it that the last 15 minutes of the work day seem the slowest? Especially when you're getting out early? I feel like I'm in elementary school again, it's an early out day, and I can't stop looking at the clock! Plus the phones have been VERY slow today, I've checked email, blogs, Facebook, and now I just have a handful of minutes left, so what to do.....what to do....

Have a great 4th of July!!

Thorough....

2007-07-03T09:34:00.000-05:00

I have a tendency to talk like I think. We may all do that. But what I mean is that I am virtually incapable of speaking straight to the point. I tend to talk a lot around the main point of what I am trying to say, eventually getting closer to what I am really meaning to say. Sometimes I am not even sure what it is I'm trying to say, but the person I'm talking to has a way of stating the exact thought or feeling I'm attempting to share that just brings it clearly into the light! I use a lot of words, but it's usually so simple.

I think the reason is that when I talk or learn something, I tend to want to know the what, followed by the why, an explanation for whatever I've been told. Plus I like to be prepared and knowledgeable in case when I relay that information to another, I am ready to answer any questions asked of me. (Like what I have to do for my job, not in the sense of spreading gossip.)

The reason I bring this up is I'm noticing it is sort of a bit of a dilemma, given my job. I talk to people on the phone all day, answering their questions on life insurance policies. It's one thing to give them a correct answer, it is another to understand WHY things are the way they are and I just have a hard time articulating a clear, consise response when a customer asks WHY such and such has happened.

Oh well, I am aware, I will continue to try to work on it, I don't know if it is possible to change the way I think....but I'll try to learn to communicate more efficiently!! Sometimes I think I just need to slow down, think before I speak - I'm definitley a verbal/external processor!

I need more sunshine....

2007-07-02T12:21:00.000-05:00

I love summer. I really do. It was such a beautiful weekend, it was sunny, there was a great cool breeze, and it was not humid!! I have such a hard time in Iowa summers, humidity just does not agree with me. But Saturday I went to the Farmer's Market and the Arts Festival downtown with my family. We just walked around enjoying the atmosphere, taste-testing some good eats, looking at some really cool artwork - especially the photography. Yesterday Kel, Jess, Marcus and I played tennis in the park near our apartment. It was again GORGEOUS out! Little humidity, warm, good breeze. We got some sun and some exercise, it felt so good to move, to use muscles I don't normally engage :) And I wasn't as horrible at it as I have been in the past! Playing with Misch last summer may have helped.

Looking forward to more days like this weekend....

I LOVE THE RAIN!!!

2007-06-24T19:11:00.000-05:00

Friday was the greatest day of the week. Around 2:30 we were taking calls and an announcement came over the speakers to take shelter, we were under a tornado warning. We all shuffled out, I wasn't sure where we were to go, I lost sight of all my teammates so I just milled in the lobby. Eventually the guards told us we couldn't stay in the hall so I followed my trainer into the women's restroom. We stood around for half an hour until they told us it was clear.

I was so bummed, I hate missing awesome weather. My desk is in the center of the room so I could hardly see what was happening all day. But the last hour I watched across the room and around 4pm, the windows to the east still looked overcast and cloudy, but at the same time, to the west it was almost pitch black. It looked like it was 9pm or later. I went to leave at 4:30 and it was downpouring. I mean, blowing, dumping, heaving rain. People milled around the door, debating what to do. Others said umbrellas almost seemed pointless because it was blowing so hard.

I didn't want to hang out at work all night, I didn't know how long it would last......so I ran for it. Then I hydroplaned most of the way home; our street and parking lot were flooding, looked like flowing rivers going over the speedbumps.

I've never gotten so soaked....so I thought I'd share it all with you. It was awesome. I love rain.

My shoes and socks were so wet that I was squishing out water everytime I took a step on the floor in my bathroom.

BRING ON THE SUMMER STORMS!!!

I like surveys....

2007-06-09T18:39:00.000-05:00

Who Was the Last Person Who.....
1. You hung out with? The Waltz family for Jonah's 4th birthday, Mom, Jess, the Shavers, and Cari Woolson
2. You rode in a car with? Kelli to the post office
#3 is missing
4. You went to the mall with?: Jess when she was visiting
5. You talked on the phone to?: Mom this morning
6. Made you laugh?: Jacob running away when Tracy tried to let him kiss her cheek. I love kids.
7. Last person you told and/or they told you they loved you? My mom

Would you rather...
1. Pierce your nose or tongue?: Nose
2. Be serious or be funny?: I wish you could always have the perfect mix of both
3. Drink whole or skim milk?: Skim, no question
4. Die in a fire or get shot?: Morbid....but shot
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?: Parents

Answer truthfully...
1. Do you like anyone?: Hard to answer that one. I love someone, I love a lot of someones.
2. Sun or moon?: Sun
3. Winter or Fall?: Fall
4. left or right?: Weird....um.....left?
5. 10 acquaintances or two best friends?: 2 best friends
6. Sunny or rainy?: Rainy, absolutely rainy. No contest.

About Me
1. What time is it?: 6:45pm
2. First Name?: Lindsay
3. Where do you wanna live?: Overseas, in the mountains, somewhere it isn't so humid. (not a place that's all these, but maybe one at a time-to move around)
4. How many kids do you want?: I don't know. I'd like at least 2, or more. I'd love to adopt internationally too.....
5. Do you want to get married?: Absolutely
6. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: Both, depends on mood. I often cut it.
7. Have you ever eaten spam?: I've probably tried it at some point.
8. Favorite ice cream?: Vanilla, or from Cold Stone or Hickory Park
9. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?: 2: Cinnamon Toast Crunch & Raisin Bran (generic brands though)
10. Do you cook?: Hardly, practically no.
11. Current mood?: a little tired

In the last 48 hours have I...
1. Kissed some one?: No
2. Sang?: Yes, w/ the radio in the car
3. Been hugged?: Yep
4. Felt stupid?: Probably, or maybe embarrassed more accuratly describes it
5. Missed someone?: I've been missing ALL my college friends lately
6. Danced Crazy?: I don't dance. I love to WATCH it on tv, and I have done that in the last 48 hours
WHO DELETED #7?
8. Gotten your hair cut?: No
9. Cried?: Yes
10. Lied?: Not that I can recall

Stuff...
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?: .....searched? I've been pulled over twice for speeding, escorted to the sheriffs' car while they called my parents for trespassing (our only punishment-no fine), and asked to take off my shoes at the airport in Chicago on the way to Beijing.
2. Do you have a Dog?: My parents have our dog Toby. I want a puggle. Badly.
3. When is the last time you've been sledding?: We rolled down the hills behind Ellis 2 winters ago.
NO #4?? :(
5. Do you believe in ghosts?: Ghosts, no. Spirits, yes.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?: Not really

Where the heck have I been???

2007-06-06T15:10:00.000-05:00

Wow, April 23rd was a long, long time ago....my how things change :)

I have just completed my 6 weeks of training as a customer service representative for Marsh, where I will be helping those who have questions on their group universal life insurance policies.

I've moved to a new city, one I spent a lot of time in throughout high school, but never one I really discovered....I know there is lots to do, I just have to find it! I'm thankful to live in a complex that has 4 pools throughout! That's right, I've already gone swimming this spring about 4 or 5 times, completely free of charge! And my way of discovering the neighborhood is to go for runs. There are trails nearby, they really only go between major streets, but it's still running through a park-like neighborhood. Plus it gives me the exercise I so desperatly have needed! It felt so good to go for a run the day after I swam the first time, my lungs LOVED it! I still can't run for long periods of time, but it was the greatest feeling, I wasn't completely wiped out that day. The humidity has wrecked me....both my breathing, my allergies, and the fact that it can be 60 degrees, but if it's humid, I'm dripping like I just got out of the shower :) Well, it's not so much dripping, it's more like condensation......hmmm, is this too much information? Sorry......

But some exciting things to look forward to:

*finding a church to get involved with. I've attended Valley once and went to a dinner where I met 4 other 20-somethings. It was awesome to meet 4 strangers and find something in common w/ all of them: John went to China in college on the same trip as CT, who I went to school w/ and he dated my sister. Matt is leaving for China this fall for 2 years-I was really excited as I've been there myself and have wanted to live overseas for quite some time. Kalee worked at Riverside and was good friends w/ Brian, who is my brother-in-law's brother. Not to mention the fact I LIVE w/ Marcus right now. She couldn't believe it. And then I discovered randomly that Jen, who hosted this dinner for new visitors to Valley (I was the only newbie who showed), that her cousin is Darin, who is best friends and coworkers w/ Joel, who was my youth leader for 6 years and is married to Tracy who has been my mentor/friend/accountability since moving home. Plus, I even interviewed for a job with both Joel & Darin sometime in Feb/March.

*Dragon Boat Races. I get to take part in this event w/ Kelli, Marcus and other co-workers from Performance Display in August. It's an event to raise awareness and support for organ donation. I'm really excited because apparently it's going to be authentic boats, drums and all! I can't wait!

*vacation to NY this fall! I will, for the first time in my life, take a vacation all by myself. I'm going to visit my sister Jess, who will be attending school in Rochester for sign language interpreting and I am going to visit her for 4 days. I'm excited to see where she'll be living all by herself, going to school in a new state, and I am even more excited because I am going to take her to Niagara Falls and hopefully somewhere in Canada! I'm shooting for Toronto, it's the nearest large city. I just really want to go to Canada, where I've never been......plus the added bonus that it will now add another stamp to my passport!! I just love new adventures, new places, seeing beautiful creation. I can't wait to go to Niagara. Plus Jess & I haven't ever really taken any kind of fun trip together, so I'm really looking forward to just getting into her new 'world' in New York. Plus I get to fly alone for the first time in my life!!

*Jonah's 4th birthday party this weekend. Jonah is Joel & Tracy's son, whom I love like family. He's been such a joy to me over the 9 months I lived at home after graduating. I love the way youngin's word things-he makes me laugh, I love him, and I'll never forget that he would bring me tissues if I cried. He has a special place in my heart.

Alright, this is too long. Hope you enjoyed the update! I haven't had internet access since moving, but now I'm at a computer all day....things have changed!!

~Later everyone

Long Time....No Post

2007-04-23T17:52:00.000-05:00

I know there aren't many who read my blog, but lots of changes are taking place in my life right now! I figured for those of you who do check in every now and then, I should give you the current update.

I am moving at the end of the month into an apartment with my sister and brother-in-law. We actually got the okay to move in early, because they were more than ready to move in asap. So this Saturday was our first move-in day. So much fun to see our new space coming together! It's also the first time in my life I'll have my own bathroom :) I know that might not seem like that big of a deal, but for some reason, I'm really excited about that. I shared a bathroom with 4 other girls for 2 years, and we never had any problems with that. Then I shared one again with my parents. So now I get my own!

And I'm starting a new job in a new city, my first real, professional job. With benefits :) I'm moving out, on my own. It's a scary thing, a little overwhelming. Only a few months ago, when I'd think about where I'd be at this time in my life, this isn't where I pictured myself. I was hoping to be in a different place, with different people, doing something else. But the Lord has a great way of working things out in our lives that are His best for us, even if we don't realize it ourselves. I thought I was ready for something different, but was trying to lead my own way. God needed to get my attention, and He did. Just not in the way I'd wanted. I've had to greive a broken heart, a lost relationship, and the loss of a close friend. But the Lord's opened the door for so much more. I'd sacrificed a lot of the things that were important in my life, not realizing that I was doing it.

I'm hoping this new direction, this new open door will be the first of many bold steps to come in trusting in my Savior Jesus, in getting my feet wet in the Jordan, and believing that God has already gone before me and will continue to lead me where He can use me most. It's a crazy thing, this life we've been given. But I'm so excited to see what's to come....

The new roommates:

Just an update....

2007-03-29T15:40:00.000-05:00

I didn't go to Target yet....trying to stick to that budget!

Spring Fever

2007-03-26T08:15:00.000-05:00

I just get excited every time the weather changes. I didn't have to wear a coat this morning on the way to work-the radio said at 7 am it was already close to 60 degrees and should get near 80 today!!

Then I get to work and see the weekend ads from Target. There are some ADORABLE skirts and springy clothes at pretty decent prices. And unfortunately, I need a new swimsuit this summmer-which is NOT easy to shop for. I would love to go on a mini shopping spree-but I am trying to live on my budget.....oh what am I to do!?!?

I'll keep you posted on my decision.....

Sigh

2007-03-24T16:45:00.000-05:00

I'm so restless.....

Restless at work.....restless at home.....restless in my thoughts....restless in my heart and faith and struggles with sin.....restless for something new.....somewhat scared.....somewhat (a lot) excited....a little nervous....I've just got to put my trust in the Lord....used to be so simple and easy, somehow got hard and complicated.....but KNOW that is the only solution....Lord I pray for a humbled heart, for my walls of self-protection to crumble, for my eyes to be open to see what you are and will continue to do in my life....